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Useless Things: June 2007

Useless Things

...yes, we know the Url is misspelled. Useless Things: A gossip blog. You've read the rest, now look at all the leftover crap.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Mischa Barton See Thru Boobies


This picture of Mischa is from a new movie called Virgin Territory. There's a slight see thru here, so I took it up to myself to enchance it in Photoshop.
Wait, here is a better X-ray effect version. I bit more contrast...

The Apple Store Is Down Because Of The iPhone

Check out the Apple website just before 6pm.
Ridiculous.

Kirsten Dunst Eats A Pizza

Beautifully useless.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Great Movie Poster Art

This image shows a copy of a hand-painted movie poster by artist O.M. (Otto) Wise featuring legendary actor Lon Chaney in "Laugh Clown Laugh," in 1928. During the early years of motion pictures, theaters across the country shunned studio-produced promotional displays and instead hired their own artists to paint movie posters that would better entice ticket buyers.Look at the awesome detail of this painting. Amazing. I'd love to have something like this. 1928?!! Wow.

A Generic Skinny Model Backstage

I don't know her name. And sometimes it's better that way.
Gorgeous. She could lift anyone's spirits with that smile and those elongated extremities.

Let's Not Ignore The Other Chick From 'The Transformers'

All this commotion with Megan Fox, we've ignored this hot blonde who's been at all 'The Transformers' premieres as well. Rachael Taylor.

I think she's a dream.
Okay, Megan, your really cute and all, but I'm getting tired ot the tattoo pose. We've read it. Yes, both of them. Okay, great. Move along.

The Spice Girls Are Old And Fat

Yes, they're all old and fat now, except Posh, who looks like an alien. So, it's either old, fat, preggers, or alien. Which would you choose? I mean, if you had a gun to your head, of course.

The re-united Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, Melanie Chisholm, Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton and Melanie Brown pose for the photographers on the grounds of the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, London, today.

The Best Mouth In The Business

What a great smile on this girl. Shes got one nice big mouth. Could you imagine? You know? That's a damn pretty face.Model Karolina Kurkova attends a preview of new Victoria's Secret products in New York, on Tuesday. Models and other guests sampled Victoria's Secret beauty products including Beauty Rush, Sexy Little Things, Bare Bronze and Very Sexy Makeup.

Bruce Donates His 'Die Hard' Stuff

Actor Bruce Willis looks at a collection of items that he is donating from his movie, "Die Hard 4.0" as they are inducted into the collection of the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, Wednesday, June 27, 2007, in Washington.

Manson, Just Stick To The Music, Bro.

U.S. rock musician Marilyn Manson poses for photographers in a gallery in Cologne, Germany, yesterday, where he opens the exhibition "Les Fleurs du Mal", that shows his paintings.
Look, I like the guy. But these paintings remind me of the same shit the stupid goth chicks used to draw on their binders in High School. The same girls today aren't goth chicks anymore, they're dressed like Karen O, and you can find them on the Cobrasnake website trying to get photographed with Steve Aoki.

The Vivacious Little Kristen Bell

Oh, hell yeah! I like me some little Kristen Bell, boy! Go on girl.
Actress Kristen Bell arrives at a special screening of the film "Sicko" at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

Billy Joel Sings To Oscar The Grouch

This is a classic. Dude, when is Oscar The Grouch gonna chill the hell out? He's been pissed off since I was a kid. Easy on that, Oscar. Easy.

Okay, now seriously can someone tell me why the version of "Just The Way You Are" I have on my iPod is missing the complete second verse?

I noticed this when I heard it played on the radio. And now I can't find the FULL version anywhere. Can anyone help out a useless friend?

The FULL Paris Hilton Larry King Interview

Here it is, fellas. As long as the boys at Youtube will let 'em run.








Hey, Paris, I'll be your new boy toy. I don't care about money, or the paparazzi following you, and I clean up real good.

Drop me a line, I'll take you out to The Outback in Miami Beach. It's ladies night on Wednesdays.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Shia LaBeouf Seduces A Tennis Ball

Boy, the crap actors have to do to promote their movies. I like this kid, though. Shia. He seems like a good guy, and a hard worker.

Actor Shia LaBeouf pretends to seduce a tennis ball with fake wig on a pole during a joke about acting in movies laden with digital effects during MTV's "Total Request Live" at the MTV Times Square Studios today. LaBeouf stars in the new film "Transformers" which opens nationwide July 3, 2007.

Justin Timberlake Is Pretty Hilarious

I got this from some sort of Norwegian You tube-ish site called Dagbladet TV.

Justin Timberlake takes a picture of the paparazzi shooting the video, shows it to him, and says, " Picture of an asshole...yeah, got it."




That's pretty damn clever.

Carrie Underwood Sexiest Vegetarian

Carrie Underwood has been voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll, the animal rights group announced today. The sexiest man veggie was Kevin Eubanks, the bandleader on "The Tonight Show."

I wonder if Taylor or Kellie are vegetarians? Must not be.

Paris Hilton Lookalike

Paris Hilton look-alike Natalie Reid plays GSN.com's hottest new online game 'The Prison Life 2: Full Release.'I can't believe that even Paris Hilton's lookalike gets licensing deals.

Paris is out now, Natalie, you can go back to obscurity.

Paris Hilton Released

Paris Hilton, la multimillonaria heredera (espaldas), es recibida por su madre Kathy Hilton (frente) y atrás su padre Rick, a su salida de la cárcel de Lynnwood, después de cumplir 23 días de prisión, parte de los 45 a los que fue condenada en mayo por violar los términos de su libertad bajo fianza.I'll keep the caption in Spanish, because if you don't know what it says, you can take a guess. Funny , but I don't have anything to say. You know?Ok, so now what? What do I say? What do you people want to hear? Shall we go back to making fun of her, and calling her a whore? Boring.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Holiday Road Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohhhhh Ohh

It's a National Lampoon Vacation reunion! Check out my awesome Beverly D'Angelo nude screen caps.
Christie Brinkley and Chevy Chase attend the after party of a special East Hampton screening of Weinstein Company's new film "Sicko", Saturday in East Hampton, New York.

Disney Animates Weird Stuff For China

The main character from the Chinese-language Disney movie "The Magic Gourd." Disney has decided that Mickey, Minnie and Goofy can't conquer the coveted Chinese market alone, and that a little local magic should do the trick.I'm not embarrassed to admit I didn't know what the hell a "Gourd" was. Should I? The thing looks like a retarded Mister Potato Head to me.

The Amanda Brooks Blog

There's a new fashion blog that just started at Men's Vogue called In Her Eyes written by the lovely looking Amanda Brooks (pictured above with Carolina Herrera). Let's hope she updates it as much as Scott Schuman does The Sartorialist. I just added her to the Blogroll. I'd listen to her.

It's always nice to get the female take on these things. Especially, the smart, stylish New York female take on these things. You don't see very many of those in sunny South Florida.

So far, she's posted a lot of vintage photos of classic Hollywood Icons, along with dudes on the street. And as a McQueen fan, I can get into that!

Kirsten Dunst Up And About

I dig Kirsten's style. She's really made that Ray-Ban Wayfarer look hers.

Love that Dunst!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Mischa Barton Drinks A Glass Of Water

I haven't posted on Mischa in a while. Especially taking part in a completely useless act such as sipping a glass of water. This was during a Ked's signing at Lord and Taylor.
Have you ever see someone take a drink so gracefully?And look at her skin, it's flawless.

What would we do without Mischa Barton pictures?

I'm Over Pete Doherty

Singer songwriter Pete Doherty performs on the Park Stage at the 2007 Glastonbury Festival, near Pilton, England, today.

And then, Kate Moss films musician Pete Doherty on the Park stage with what appears to be an old film camera from the 70's.

I'm so over these people. Kate is trying to still feel young by finding the "bad boy" of today, and it's really pathetic and transparent. This guy is probably going to kill himself with drugs, and she'll no doubt find the next one.
I say grow up, people. Johnny Depp did. And you're no Johnny Depp, Pete. Trust me.

Harry Potter 1 Was A Long Time Ago

Actors Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, and Rupert Grint on August 23, 2000......and then on June 22, 2007.Damn. Harry Potter turned into Elijah Wood's twin, the chick grew boobs and became an boozer, and the red head kid looks the same.

Lose The Bag, Cameron!

This was an interesting story I read over the weekend. Apparently, Cameron Diaz has upset some of the local Peruvians by touring the Inca ruins of Machu Picchu carrying a tote bag with some Maoist slogans on it. Seems that during the 80's some 70,000 plus people had been massacred in the region, by in fact, Maoist insurgents. Oops! Story Here.

You know, I don't think Cameron meant any harm, and this story will probably get more play that it needs to.
In Hollywood, Communist chic has become a style. Find some khaki or military green colored crap with cool bold blocky red letters, and there you have it. A style which, if you think about it, is kind of tired and overdone in general, despite it's antiquated political meaning.

It's the same lame style that made me (and others) stay clear of the Gap Product Red Campaign, even though that money was going to a good cause.

What's Up With This German Show "Wetten dass...?"

British actress Liz Hurley tastes a drink talking to German TV presenter Thomas Gottschalk during the German TV show "Wetten dass...?" (Bet that..) staged in the bullring arena Coliseo Balear in Palma de Mallorca, Spain, on Saturday night.This is the same show that had Colin Farrell give Angelina Jolie the snake. What's the deal with this show? Doesn't anyone know? This has to be the most outlandish, absract show in television history, yet it books A-list stars all the time. And they get them to do the most ridiculous things.

They say German's don't have a sense of humor, but I think they're light years ahead of us.

Every Bald Guy's Hero

Actor Jason Statham looks on as he arrives to watch British boxer Ricky Hatton's junior welterweight boxing match against Jose Luis Castillo, of Mexico, in Las Vegas, Saturday, June 23, 2007.

Jason is like the coolest looking bald dude. This guy would actually look worse if he had more hair. Perfect.

Ashton's Ascot

Ascot, Cravat, or is it just a simple silk scarf under his shirt? Well, whatever the hell it is, I think it makes him look like he's trying too hard.

I can see how he would want to get rid of his "trucker hat days" but this is not working for me. At least not for a premiere.

Especially with the half-tuck in the second set. What is he saying? That this event is classy enough to wear the fancy YSL neck wear, yet informal enough for to be blasé about his shirt being half untucked? Naw. I don't buy it. Too calculated.

I wonder what Katherine Wheelock would say about this. Maybe she'll Google herself and drop us a comment.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Kellie Pickler's Boobs All Hanging Out

Check out Kellie Pickler's babylons hanging out as she signs this table at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas. I tell you they're real nice.I like her new hairstyle too, it kind of makes her look like an older soccer mom, with is a good look to go for, at 21, because you'll always look better and sexier than the real soccer moms.
Her team probably realizes that she can't look like the younger Taylor Swift. Who is darn cute in this video from backstage at the Tonight Show.

I love her mom's "ghetto ringtone" on her cell phone.

People, there is room for 2 hot young Country singers. Maybe even 3, Carrie Underwood? I'm still amazed at the bashing I've been getting for This Post.

Why Is This Guy Still Famous?

I saw this picture of Chris Judd in the wires today, and thought, "Am I having a 1999 flashback?"

Seriously, why is this man still allowed to breathe? Let alone attend events as if he is some sort of celebrity?

Dude, you banged Jennifer Lopez in the 90's, that's it. You are over. No one cares about you. You could come out with a movie where your acting is on par with Deniro and people would still call you JLo's ex stooge. Sorry. It's over.

Read a Men's style magazine published within the last 3 years, and you'll realize that Goatee's are hopelessly 90's and totally out of style, you're just a bad reminder of those times. GO away.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Does The Guy In the Suit Smile?

I was thinking about this today. Heavy thinking, actually. When a sports mascot poses for a picture with someone, does the guy in the suit actually smile? Most of the costumes have huge rubber heads with smiles permanently placed on the masks, so, there isn't a need for the man inside to smile.....but.... my money is on "yes" he is smiling. He doesn't need to, but he is.Former French Culture Minister Jack Lang stands with "Mr. Met", the mascot of the New York Mets baseball team, 20 June 2007 before the start of a game at Shea Stadium in New York. Lang was attending the launch of "Make Music New York", part of the the worldwide Fete de la Musique, established by Lang in 1982. Fete de la Musique takes place on 21 June, the summer solstice.

50 Cent And The Dutchess of York

See, this is what I like to see, people you ordinarily wouldn't see together. Fiddy and the Dutchess, son. What? What? Wassup now, bitches? How ya like me now?!Recording artist 50 Cent and The Dutchess of York Sarah Ferguson at the 2007 Cipriani Wall Street Concert Series on June 20, 2007 in New York City.


Is it me, or does 50 Cent remind you of Sinatra for some strange reason?

Jessica White Is Hot

Model Jessica White arrives at the 2007 Cipriani Wall Street Concert Series last night, in New York City.

Damn! This girl is smokin'! Tall, thin, beautiful face, and look at that ass!


Oh shit, check out what I read about her on Wikipedia:

Jessica grew up in a tough neighborhood in Buffalo, and has admitted to have been a troubled teenager involved partying, drinking and smoking marijuana on a regular basis. During an argument with another girl, she reportedly severely damaged the girl's car with a baseball bat.

No joke, bro.

Len Wiseman Still Stoked He's With Kate Beckinsale

Director Len Wiseman and partner actress Kate Beckinsale attend the after party following the UK premiere of 'Die Hard 4.0', at Cirque on last night in London, England.

I guess if you just directed Bruce in Die Hard, and you were bangin' Kate, you'd be grabbing her ass like this in public, too. I know I would.

Isn't it funny how some things just seem to 'work out" for some people?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Katrina Bowden Pictures For Your Weekend

This girl from 30 Rock is the hottest thing on TV right now. Here is a set of pictures of her.


I'm out for the weekend, fellas. I'll see you on Sunday.

Megan Fox's OTHER Tattoo

We all know the "Gilded Butterflies" tattoo, which got UT a shit-load of Google hits. But it seems Ms. Fox has something else written on her, forever. This one isn't as poetic as the King Lear quote.
From what I can read, (from a shitty MaximOnline low rez picture), it says, "There once was a little girl who never knew love until a boy broke her HEART."

Either that or "until a bug broke her HEART." But why would a bug break her heart? Nevermind.

Those shitty Maxim photos.

Generic Model Nip Slip

Nip Slip! Damn, it never gets old.A model presents a creation by Alexandre Herchcovitch during the opening day of the 2008 Spring-Summer collections of the Sao Paulo Fashion Week, in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

So You Want Steve McQueen's Persols, Huh?

Late US movie star Steve McQueen's Persol sunglasses are displayed in Los Angeles.
Well, these were posted for two to three grand back in November (who knows what they actually sold for). But, you can check out similar models here.
It's interesting to see that he wore the kind you could fold up into a small pouch. I don't think they make 'em like that anymore.

You Can Always Count On Brazil For Thinspo

A model wears a creation by 2nd Floor during the Sao Paulo Fashion Week in Sao Paulo, yesterday.


Alright ladies, it's time to go get your purging toothbrush. This chick has got you beat.

Did Lily Cole Get Fake Boobs?!

I hope not. She's never been "flat" but she's also never had a full chest like this.
Maybe it's just the design of the dress.

Meredith Vieira And A Dinosaur

Meredith Vieira, co-host of the NBC "Today" television program, is teased by a dinosaur during the show in New York's Rockefeller Center, Wednesday, June 20, 2007.Since I don't watch TV, I couldn't tell you why the hell there was a Dinosaur on the Today Show. Maybe they're targeting the show's age demographic. All I know is it looks darn real.

Seriously, TV has become for old people. Kids today are on Myspace and Youtube. And if they want to see a show, they just download that shit.

Bruce Willis Is A Movie Star

I saw these pictures today, and thought, "What are we going to do when these guys leave us?" Look at this guy's face, it's genius. Full of personality.
Today's stars have been turned into little bitches. Feminized to the point of overgrown androgynous Ken dolls.


This is a real man.

Did Star Photoshope Angelina Jolie?

People are wondering about this Star cover where Jolie looks emaciated. They think It's Photoshoped.It's really hard to tell by the magazine cover because even if you scan it to a larger scale, you'll just get registration dots. You really have to look at the original file to see if any trickery was involved.

And since I consider myself something of an expert photoshoper myself, I've taken the liberty of "Liquifying" another similar Jolie photo. Enjoy!Oooh, I like her better thin... Haha!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Clinton's Spoof 'The Sporanos' Finale

This was pretty darn clever.

Hc619-tm
Uploaded by hotternews

But then again, I don't need my President to be clever. I want him/her to know what the hell their doing.

Bee Movie Screening In New York

Hey, here's another one of my favorite comedians, Seinfeld! With Rock!
Actors Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and Renee Zellweger attend a special screening of "Bee Movie" at the Museum of Modern Art today in New York City.

Cameron Diaz Is In Peru

Cameron Diaz smiles, as she walks with an unidentified friend in Cuzco, Peru, today. Diaz is in Peru on holidays.Go see The Holiday. I thought it was one of the most underrated movies of last year. Cameron's character is a producer of movie trailers, and in her mind she is constantly haunted by the voice of the "voiceover guy" and it's some of the funniest shit I've seen.


I never see movies at the theater anymore. I need to start.

Mischa Barton's Model Twin

I'm bored. Here are some pics I ripped off of Style.com of Mischa's model lookalike. Valentina Zelyaeva.

Remember her?


So hot.

I wonder if they are friends. They could be sisters.

Chris Rock And Wanda Sykes

Comedian Chris Rock presents the Gracie Award to actress and comedienne Wanda Sykes for "Outstanding Special Comedy", at the 32nd Annual Gracie Allen Awards gala, yesterday, in New York.Chris Rock has got to be one of my favorite comedians. I can't wait to see what new standup he's going to have by the end of this year. He told Elvis Mitchell he'd have something by September.And as for Wanda, check her out in Curb Your Enthusiasm. The episode of the racist dog comes to mind. She tells Larry that his dog "Sheriff" has the perfect name for a racist ass dog. Hilarious.

How Cool Is Sofia Coppola?

Actress and director Sofia Coppola , arrives with her boyfriend Thomas Mars for the New York premiere of the film "Broken English" yesterday.How cool is Sofia? Her husband looks like one of those hipsters you see in clubs these days. He's a really talented musican, that dude. I'm really into Phoenix. Check them out.

The Taylor Swift Controversy

Well, it's not really a controversy, but that headline sounds good. I've gotten a lot of e-mail slamming me for the post where I compare Taylor Swift to Kellie Pickler.
I didn't mean to slam Kellie, Pickler fans. I think Kellie is a hot girl in her own right, I just think she shouldn't stand next to taller, younger blondes. They're both hot in different ways.


Kellie Pickler reminds me of that really, really hot chick you got wasted with on Yager bombs at the Country music bar, ended up banging her outside in the alley,
she threw up in your car and then you never heard from her again.

Taylor, on the other hand, seems a little more refined. Elegant. The nice girl. You don't take her to eat buffalo wings at some dingy bar, you take her a nice restaurant where they don't use paper napkins.

I mean, look at these pictures, people, this girl would be a fashion model if she couldn't sing a lick.

Calvin Klein Rounds Up The New Herd Of Skinny Models

Skinny Models walk the runway during the Calvin Klein resort collection fashion today in New York City.

Dammit, I keep forgeting the name of this last model in the red dress. I've posted her before on other Skinny Model Posts, but her name escapes me now.

Parker Posey Is The Hottest 38 Year Old In The World

90's indie film queen Parker Posey is looking downright hot. I think she's the hottest woman approaching her 40's (she turns 39 in Nov).

I can list 5 other women, younger than her, who look haggard compared to Parker.

1. Jenny McCarthy, 34. The MTV hottie of yesteryear. Parker's hotter than her today.

2. Denise Richards, 36. The chick every dork wacked off to in Wild Things. Parker's hotter than her today.

3. Neve Campbell, 33. Same thing as above. Parker's hotter than her today.

4. Shannon Elizabeth, 33. The hot chick from the American Pie movies? No more. Parker is hotter than her today.

5. Angelina Jolie, 32. Yes. That's right, I'd take Parker over miss man-veins any day.

Parker Posey wasn't anything special to look at during the 90's, but looking at her today, I see a woman who has taken better care of herself, and has aged a whole lot better than a lot of our sex symbols of that time.

Anyone else agree? Disagree? I'm I insane?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Avril Lavigne's Internet Performance


Avril Lavigne performs during an online concert in Toronto today.
She's totally cute. But when is this whole Pink and Black thing going
to get old? I'm sick of it already. It's like I'm trying to be girly, but gothy and punk at the same time.


Do something new, Avril. You're a woman now.

Can anyone say.....Sex tape?

OOoohh... Bonus! Avril Crying last night at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto!

Poster For The Indiana Jones 4 Movie?

Lucas Licensing Signs Major Promotional Partners and Licensees for New Indiana Jones Movie.
I hope they aren't planning to use this image for the new Indy movie.

He looks just as young as he did in part one! No way! Harrison Ford should look a bit older in this movie.

Bill Hicks Was The Man

It's amazing this clip is only 1 minute and 36 seconds. There are like 9 great laughs in it.


Bill Hicks was a truly talented guy who called it like it was.

I miss seeing this kind of piercing humor. Everything seems to be all so weirdly politically correct today. I don't like it.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

More Skinny Models From Brazil

Here are some more skinny models from Brazil. Check out the chick giving that steeling skinny girl look. That's the "what are you looking at fatty?" look. She's worked hard to be able to give that look, ladies. She's earned it.


Oh and for you at home reading this, yes today is a fine day to start that low-carb diet you were thinking about, Meat.

Bob Barker Is My Hero

Bob Barker is kissed by models as he poses with the award for outstanding game show host, for his work on "The Price Is Right, at the 34th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on Friday.
You know, when I look at Bob, all I can think about are all the beautiful tall blonde models he must have banged throughout his illustrious career.

It must be mind boggling.

Adrian Grenier's Real Entourage

"The Honey Brothers" band stop for a photo at "Stereo" prior to going onstage, last Friday in New York. From left are Ethan Gold, Ari Gold (funny, ironic), Adrian Grenier and D.S. Posner.
Check out Adrian jamming on the drums.

Enrique Iglesias Takes His Own Video

Enrique Iglesias poses with Gina Cardona, from Denver, after he performed on the NBC "Today" television program in New York's Rockefeller Center, Friday June 15, 2007. His latest CD "Insomniac" was released Tuesday.
Gina, if you're reading this, drop me a comment, please. I'd like to see if people Google themselves after they take pictures like this.

Dicaprio On The Set Of 'Revolutionary Road'

Actor Leonardo DiCaprio stands on the platform of the Thomaston Train Station in Thomaston, Conn., during the filming of the DreamWorks Studios movie, "Revolutionary Road," on Wednesday. The movie stars DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.It's a Sam Mendes production. What's up with Sam and putting the word "Road" in his movies? I think this needs to be re-named. If anyone reads this at DreamWorks, get to work. You can't have two period movies by the same director with such similar titles. It confuses us. People are going to think they already saw "Road To Perdition." Isn't that the movie with Tom Hanks as a bad guy?

The New Rubik's Cube

Actress and singer Vanessa Anne Hudgens appears at the launch of Rubik's Revolution, an electronic follow-up to the iconic Rubiks Cube, on Saturday at Toys R Us Times Square in New York.It looks weird. It's bigger, too. What's the difference besides the light in the middle? It's probably easier to solve than the old one. But thats fine, since we are dumber as a whole now than we were in the eighties.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Yes, I Post Too Much Jude Law

I just realized that I post more Jude Law than any other male celebrity. Does that make me queer? I don't have to justify anything. I think he's a great actor. One of the most confident dudes on screen today.

Well, I just saw The Holiday tonight, and thought it was really, really good. I dismiss the notion that this is merely just a "chick flick." It's really much deeper than that. It's more like a well constructed modern Billy Wilder flick.I thought of it as the cinematic opposite of the movie Closer, which is another genius film about relationships. Funny that our boy Jude is in both of them, and he can adapt to two totally different takes on the same theme. Closer, being darker and more pessimistic, and Holiday being more uplifting and optimistic. Yet, essentially, (at least in my warped mind) they really are the same movie.
I'm not going to go on and on, so I'll just say this: Go rent or buy The Holiday. It hits all the right notes, and is definitely worth it.

Nancy Meyers is a genius.
Also, there are amusing cameos by Dustin Hoffman and Lindsay Lohan. James Franco, too.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Joy Division Movie 'Control' Trailer

I can't frickin' wait for this movie. Check out this LENGTHY trailer for it. Samantha Morton looks awesome. And the new kid who plays Ian Curtis looks like he's gonna be a star.


Love will tear us apart, agian.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog At The Tonys

Funny stuff.


I'd bang the chick from Parenthood, today.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Watch Out For Chauntae Davies


I having a feeling about this actress. Don't ask why. I think she's gonna blow up. I can tell she's comfortable in her own skin, and she looks great.

I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not saying this because she's a skinny blonde! Geez. I'll be sure to check out Have Love, Will Travel, which she stars in, along with a bunch of other young unknowns. Let's see if my hunch is right.

Portraits are from the 2007 CineVegas film festival on June 11, 2007 at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Nevada.

And here's the rest of the cast:
(L-R) Musician Anjel Emme, actress Jaimie Beebe, actress Najarra Townsend, director Dan Peterson, Roxanne Arvizu, actress Chauntae Davies, actress Kym Jackson, and rapper Trimm attend the "Have Love, Will Travel" screening held at the Brenden Theatres inside the Palms Casino Resort.

Bush's Watch Was Not Stolen By Albanians

I thought this story was funny. It was reported that Bush's watch had been stolen during-- wait a minute-- why am I writing? Just Click here.Well, he wore the watch today to show the press it wasn't stolen. The story was BS. But my question is, why does the President have such a cheap ass watch? Sure, it's personalized, but Timex?


On the Website, a similar model watch
costs $40 dollars. I know TImex is an American brand, and I'm not saying he needs an expensive watch. But come on, I've seen better watches for sale at the gas station.

Pictures of those wild Albanians who love the Prez....

Mischa Barton And Lindsay Used To Be Friends

Well, there's no way of telling, really. But they did pose for these pictures when they were kids. Funny to see that these girls came from the same exploitative machinery.

Sanne Nijhof Is The Ford Supermodel Of The World

Congratulations, Sanne! Useless Things looks forward to seeing your nip slips, runway mishaps, and general skinniness.

Check out her FMD page.

Oh, by the way girls, if you're not on FMD, you're not a "real" model. No matter what your mommy tells you, or how many local magazine covers you've been in.

Is Cameron Diaz Promoting 'Shrek' Or Her Legs?

U.S. actor Justin Timberlake, left, U.S. actress Cameron Diaz, center, and Spanish actor Antonio Banderas pose during a photo call to promote their animated film 'Shrek the Third' in Madrid, today.
So they attended the same event last week, and now today. Big deal. I mean, I know Hollywood is basically High School with adult children, but maybe JT and The Cam are mature adults, and they're just friends. Maybe, with benefits?

Oh, and she totally knows her legs are looking good these days, and she's exploiting that. For sho'. Check out Cam's legs from these few past weeks:

How Many Times Can I Use The Headline 'Megan Fox Is Hot'?

U.S. actress Megan Fox, left, and Australian co-star Rachael Taylor poses during a photo call to promote their new movie "Transformers" in Sydney today.

It's the face, really. Let's be honest. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but she's got a 'fuck me' face.

Kellie Pickler Sings The National Anthem

Country music recording star Kellie Pickler sings the national anthem before a Chicago Cubs baseball game against the Seattle Mariners Tuesday, June 12, 2007 in Chicago.I think she's hot. But, she should never stand next to taller, more beautiful girls than her.

Which reminds me, what's up with Taylor Swift? Is that legal yet?

Fergie Ferg Does A Candies Ad

Fergie on set at her Candie's advertising campaign photo shoot.
I hate it when bloggers call her fugly. She's not ugly. She's hot. I'm into her. Everyone takes bad pictures sometimes.

This is a casual, candid shot. She looks fine. Relax.

Generic Skinny Models Wearing Cool Clothes

These skinny models are in London. They are wearing cool clothes from the 'Per Una' line by Marks & Spencer.


I wish girls dressed like this in Miami. I guess it's too hot down here. I got to get my ass out to New York agian. Soon.

Pam Anderson Is 40 Years Old

Pamela Anderson poses for photographers as she arrives for her 40th birthday party at the Sublime cafe in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Tuesday, June 12 ,2007. She is celebrating her birthday at the vegan hotspot with fellow PETA members.

I've actually eaten there. It's not bad. Everything is vegan in that restaurant, except for the trendy chairs. I asked a waiter if the chairs were real leather. He said they were. So much for that.

Fat Girls Eating Cake Like Animals

This is what you guys need to avoid looking like.Erin Wade, right, of Manhattan, and Erica Foeldvari, center, of the Brooklyn borough of New York, compete in WE TV's cake eating contest, Tuesday, June 12, 2007 in New York. The 15 brides faced off in Times Square for a grand prize of $25,000 to kick off the fourth season of the cable channel's "Bridezillas" series, which returns Sunday, June 17.

Last chick is Stephanie Florio, of Sayville, N.Y. She won.

Glenn Close's Daughter Is Kinda Cute

She really is! I'm into her. A new Useless Things celeb to be on the lookout for.
Glenn Close, right, and her daughter Annie Maude Starke arrive to the party after the New York premiere of "Evening," Monday, June 11, 2007. Both Close and another daughter, Mamie Gummer, are in the cast.

Looking at her face more closely, it's sort of similar to Cintia Dicker's.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Amanda Beard Playboy Pictures

Amanda Beard is shown in this picture from the July 2007 issue of Playboy magazine.Click HERE to check out her pictures.

Sorry guys, I don't think I'm going to post anything else today. I'm tired, and I have a special project to work on.

Stay tuned, I'll be back tomorrow.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Would You Still Like Gisele If She Was Fat?

I know I called her "fat" last week, and I was partially joking. But now, she really is fat.
This is my Photoshoped version of what Gisele Bundchen would look like if she was a plus-size model.

I think if Gisele read Useless Things, she'd cry if she saw this.

Details Magazine Is Cracking Me Up

This chick, Katherine Wheelock cracks me up every month in Details. Most of her articles basically destroy the misconceptions of every guy in general. The humor is a little highbrow, and about 90% of unsuspecting men will miss it completely. But still, she's dead on.
This month she attacks all the dudes who have "go out" shirts. And rightfully questions this MYTH that all gay guys have a great sense of style.

This month's issue also has a great guide to wearing jeans, and I'll post the "Gay..or" page when they put it up for this month.

Quentin Tarantino Is A Letdown

Alright, I want an open discussion on this. I've been slamming Quentin ever since he showed up looking like a complete dork at the Scorsese seminar. The last thing he did was Jackie Brown. After Jackie Brown, everything sucks. The dude needs to let go of this love of Japanese cinema, that's not what he does best.
I don't even care if he directs anymore, just write a great script like True Romance, or Natural Born Killers and let some other dude direct.

And for God's sake, no one wants to see him act anymore either. Here's the caption for these photos:

U.S. film director and actor Quentin Tarantino gives a thumbs-up sign at a press conference in Tokyo Monday, June 11, 2007 to announce the upcoming Japanese film "A Sukiaki Western: Django." Tarantino plays two roles in the film which is a so-called macaroni-western set in Japan, starring Japanese actors speaking in English, and meant for a Japanese audience.

Do You Want To Meet Mandy Moore?

I'd like to meet her, but not at a premiere. I want to meet her at a smokey bar in West Hollywood, after she's had a couple. But if you'd like to meet her at a premiere, go here.Retail Entertainment Design (RED) creates new nationwide enter-to win promotion for major fashion retailer Vanity to debut the June 19th album release, "Wild Hope," of talented recording artist and actor, Mandy Moore.

"I'm Tired Of Being What You Want Me To Be..."

I never liked Linkin Park. I always thought there songs were only good in strip clubs for strippers who didn't dance to Hip-Hop. But then they did that album with Jay-Z, and I loved it. I think Collision Course will be regarded as one of the best Rock/Rap crossover albums of all time.Lead singer Chester Bennington of Californian Nu Metal band Linkin Park performs during a concert at the Hallenstadion in Zurich, Switzerland, today.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

For Eva: Tony Parker Nip Slip

For Eva Longoria only. I'm sure she missed this shot with her crappy little Coolpix. Tony Parker slips a nip as Drew Gooden defends at the NBA finals today.
Go Cavs!

Cintia Dicker In Russian Vogue

This is Cintia in a spread from Vogue Russia. There is really great lighting in these pictures. With the makeup, you can barely see her trademark freckles.

I wish Cintia had posed for this series of "before and after" shots with and without makeup. Here is Jeisa from that series (They are old, as you can see Jeisa looks much younger in them). It's incredible, isn't it? Every model that was photographed for this series barely looked any different in the "no makeup" picture.

I show this series of photos to all the skeptics who claim all these models are "airbrushed." Nope. Here's the proof. Sorry. There is a very real and definite reason they are models and you are not. Here it is. Stop hating.

Jeisa See-Through Moment

Yes! Jeisa Chiminazzo was there at Brazil Fashion Week, and she had a see-thru ensemble. Score.Jeisa has to have the best looking boobs in the business today. They need to put her up as the Victoria Secret main chick. Now that horse-face is out.
Check out Nina's blog for some great Jeisa stuff.

And Drakulita's site as well.

Alessandra Ambrosio Is Blowing You A Kiss

Brazilian model Alessandra Ambrosio makes an appearance at Armani Exchange Soho Store to Benefit The MS Society, on Saturday in New York.
The thing about this chick is, well, she's kind of tacky. But at the same time, she's so fine that it cancels the tackiness out. But still, very strange.

Matt Damon Takes His Own Picture

Actor Matt Damon takes a photo with a fan on the red carpet at a movie premiere of "Ocean's Thirteen" Thursday, June 7, 2007 in Chicago.
Twice!

My Big Fat Skinny Model Post

Okay, so here are the Brazil Fashion Week skinny models. I was kind of disappointed. I didn't see anything special. Here they go.


I wonder why I didn't see my top 3 Brazilian girls there? Maybe they could only afford one big name model to open the show and they picked the fat-has-been Gisele.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The MisShapes Girl Needs To Smile More

The MisShapes attend the fifth Annual Art Party and auction celebrating the Whitney Museum of American Art held at Skylight Studio on June 6, 2007 in New York City.Out of like 100 pictures in Getty of this chick, DJ Love Leigh (Leigh Lezark), she's smiles in only 1 one them.Come on, sweetie, you can do better than that. You've got a real pretty smile. Show it off some more. We don't have to be "too cool for school" ALL the time.

Bee Shaffer Hangs With Kate Bosworth

Actress Kate Bosworth and socialite Bee Shaffer attend the fifth annual Whitney Contemporaries Art Party and Auction benefiting the Whitney Museum of American Art's Independent Study Program held at Skylight Studio on June 6, 2007 in New York City.Sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....Sexy!

I'm the king-klang king of the rim-ram room!!

I'm Glad Paris Hilton Went Home

People are saying she's been released. Sure, she's out of the correctional facility, but she's still serving her sentence. She can't leave her home, at all, with exception to checking the mail. And her sentence is back up to 40 days.
I'm glad this happened. And I'm glad that people are mad, and they think she's getting "special treatment." I think "special treatment" should be the buzz catchphrase for 2007.
A good percentage of you are complete hypocrites, because you've been charged with a DUI. An even greater percentage drive drunk regularly, and haven't been caught. The audacity of people to actually say they are MAD that this happened. Baffles me. You're Mad? Really? I'm not.

Some of you cats are going to wake up one day and realize you've just spent 10 years of your life angry at some person you've never met. Real smart.

Get a life.

I Stole This From IMDb

Paris Not Eating or Sleeping in Jail
Paris Hilton is struggling after a little over two days in jail, sobbing to family members over the phone and complaining she isn't sleeping or eating. The heiress has served just over 48 hours of her 23 day sentence for violating her parole following a 2006 drink-driving arrest. But, according to Tmz.com, the 26-year-old is close to crumbling. Sources tell the site she has no appetite and is struggling to sleep in her noisy and "freezing cell" with just three small blankets and no pillow. Hilton's fellow inmates have extended her a warm welcome according to the sources, who claim other prisoners chanted "Paris! Paris! Paris!" as she passed them - as well as offering her gifts and words of support.

Geez, stealing things is so much easier than actually writing it yourself.

I'm a little creeped out on how a lot of mainstream media is making a joke out of this Paris Hilton jail situation. It's really not that funny. I mean, by now Paris Hilton jokes are dull in general. Listen, I'm as guilty as anyone else is on bashing Paris, but where do we draw the line? Would we be making jokes about her if she died?

I tried to think of a valid, good reason for anyone to actually "hate" Paris Hilton, and I can't think of one. I'm guessing when she gets out, she's going to know who her real friends are, as she's already seen the entertainment business completely turn on her.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Kirsten Dunst Likes Gumbo

At least it looks like gumbo to me. Kirsten Dunst chills with an unidentified person on the set of her new movie How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.



I'm loving this girl's style. It's the "I don't care" disheveled look.

Gisele Bundchen Is Fat

La modelo brasileña Gisele Bundchen aplaude a la propietaria de la marca Colcci, Jessica Lengyel, durante la jornada de hoy, 5 de mayo de 2007, de la semana de la moda 'Fashion Río 2007', que se lleva a cabo hoy, 5 de junio de 2007, en la Marina de Glória, en el sur de Río de Janeiro.

I won't even bother translating the caption. Who cares? Whatever. Gisele is fat. Remember when she used to be too skinny? Yes. Well, this is what happens, ladies. This is what Leonardo Dicaprio will do to you. You get fat, and you end up with Tom Brady, instead.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Cintia Dicker Doesn't Need Make up

Cintia Dicker was given natural make up by God. Look at all those freckles!
Truly unique. This is one of my favorite pictures of her. I scanned it from an editorial in Wallpaper magazine from 2005 called "Raising Arizona."

Dorks: Brad Pitt And George Clooney

Actor Brad Pitt jokes around with his co-star George Clooney during a ceremony placing their hands in cement as part of the "Ocean's 13" movie promotion, today outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles.
I'm digging those Tom Ford sunglasses Pitt's been pimpin' out recently. They're sweet. But Brad, you need to wear a collared shirt, bro, this is kind of a big deal. You're being honored. This isn't the premiere for Hostel II.

How To Spot The American Girl

I don't feel like blogging today guys. So here's a thing I scanned from an old GQ. How to spot the American chick in any crowd.
These guys are right on. This chick looks EXACTLY like any given UM chick at the Grove on Thurdsay night.

Subscribe to GQ here.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Jeisa Chiminazzo Video

Great casting video of our girl Jeisa.


Sweet! Check out more of Jeisa at Nina's Blog. She's got great shots there.

Skinny Model Season Is Here

Skinny models walk the runway during the Luca Luca 2008 Resort fashion show on June 4, 2007 in New York City.

Ah, yes, the skinniest models came out for this one. Just to make you and me feel fat. I love it.

These pictures should make you want to start that strict diet of iceberg lettuce and Diet Coke soon.

Marisa Miller At Some Sports Event

Model Marisa Miller arrives at the 22nd Annual Sports Spectacular at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on June 3, 2007 in Century City, California.

Hey, did any Entourage fans catch Marisa as the model Brett Ratner photographs at his house? It was totally her.

Okay, We Get It, She's In Jail

Of course I have to publish these pictures of Paris Hilton. Well, I don't really have to. I kinda think this story is getting a little too much exposure.


Everyone is profiting from it, Madame Tussaud's museum even dressed the wax figure of Paris in jailbird clothes.

Okay, guys, we get it. Lay off of the girl already. I kind feel sorry for her. She's a human being after all.
Sarah Silverman poked fun of her at the MTV Movie Award TO HER FACE.


Props to Hilton for showing up the day before she went in. She knew she would be hung out to roast, and she made sure they did it to her face. She's out in 23 days, and payback's a bitch, fellas.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

We Will All Laugh At Gilded Butterflies

Yes, I know what you're looking for. That stupid tattoo on the back of Megan Fox's right shoulder. Here it is.

It's a Shakespeare quote from King Lear, or something.


Now bookmark Useless Things, cause eventually you're gonna end up back here searching for other piece of useless information in the future.

Just check us daily.

Dear Megan Fox,

You are hot. I can't wait to see your new movie, The Transformers. I'm sure it's going to be really great. Today, I slacked off at work, mostly. I came across an old video of your boyfriend from 1992. I think you were about 6 years old at the time, so you may not have seen it. Here it is:




I loved you in
COATDQ. Get Lindsay some help.

Ok, that's about it. I'll see you later.

-Sincerely yours,

Mr. Useless

P.S. Remember to write back!

South Korea, You're About 22 Years Too Late

South Korean B-boy fans cheer during a three-day international dance battle in Seoul, South Korea, Friday, June 1, 2007. The South Korean government is latching on to B-boys' acrobatic moves as a way to promote the country's dynamic image and draw tourists, and leading corporations are deploying the dancers in TV commercials and at high-profile events.


That ain't nothing guys, let me teach you a little step we like to call "The Roger Rabbit" it's the hottest thing right now.

A Model Talks

Models talk sometimes. This is the girl that Lindsay Lohan stole clothes from a while back. Lauren Hastings.

She's pretty cute. Well spoken.

Ben Affleck Is An All Around Good Guy

It's hard to not to like a guy like Ben Affleck after seeing these series of photos of him this weekend.

First, he attending the High School graduation of a boy he met 10 years ago, Joe Kindregan, who suffers from a rare genetic disease. He spoke, shook hands, hugged, and congratulated the graduates.

Then, he caught the Red Sox games with his wife, Jennifer Gardiner.

And today, he hung out with the Greater Boston Food Bank, which distributes food to area hunger-relief agencies. Simply to draw more attention to the problem of hunger in the US.


Nothing about this guy's weekend seemed disingenuous to me. Ben Affleck appears to be a well adjusted and caring individual.

That, and he did a great job in Hollywoodland.

On Fire: Cintia Dicker And Lily Cole

I feel sorry for everyone out there who likes redheads. It's not easy to find one. And when you do, most of them are ugly, or weird. That's why it's so special when you do find a beautiful one, it's like finding a diamond.
Here are two of my favorites, together backstage at some old fashion show. Cintia and Lily.

Go Read 'Hollywood Car Wash' Right NOW!

If you enjoy this site, and all of its snarky superficial model humor, you are going to love Lori Culwell's book "Hollywood Car Wash".
I loved it. I haven't read anything like it since The Devil Wears Prada. And like Prada, I heard this is gonna get picked up to be a TV project.

Supposedly some real life Hollywood actresses (ahem, Katie Holmes) are pissed off about the book. But, really, when you read a book about a young girl who has been stripped of her own identity for the sake of a TV show, and well, you are a young girl who has been stripped of her identity for the sake of a TV show, you're gonna think it's you.

I'm sure Lindsay, Paris, Britney and the Olsen twins would think the book is based on them too. If only they could read.

Buy the book Hollywood Car Wash HERE.

Poor, Poor Hania Barton

It must be hard when you go to Ralph's to pick up groceries with Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie when your name is Hania Barton.

"Why aren't they focusing any of the pictures at me? What's wrong with ME? I'm cute and thin too, damnit!"

Poor Hania Barton. We like you Hania. UT would post more pictures of you if we had them. We also hope you keep away from the drugs. You're better than that.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Chevy Chase Takes His Own Picture

Yes, it was a National Lampoon Vacation marathon on my Netflix Queue this week. So what? Chevy Chase takes his own picture in National Lampoon's European Vacation.
This may be the first time in cinema history that the phenomenon of taking your own picture was filmed. Filmed in 1984.

Lindsay Lohan Is Protesting In Venezuela

Listen, all that stuff about Lindsay Lohan getting a DUI and going back to rehab. It's all bullshit. Lindsay Lohan has been in Caracas, Venezuela all this week protesting Hugo Chavez's oppressive regime, and his recent closure of top Venezuelan Television station RCTV. Don't believe me? Well, take a look for yourself:Wow! Doesn't that chick on the left look EXCACTLY like her? It's uncanny! Lindsay has a twin in Venezuela! Dina Lohan probably had an affair with some Venezuelan dude in '84, and gave the guy custody before Lindsay was born. Seriously, there is no other explanation. Lindsay, I'd do some research on this if I were you. You have an older sister in Venezuela, girl.
Here are some pics in similar angles of the real Lindsay, judge for yourself.

Eva Longoria Takes Her Own Picture With 'E' From Entourage

Eva Longoria still thinks she's a photographer. Here she's seen taking her own picture with Kevin Connelly from Entourage.
Can't wait to see this Sunday's episode. Drama is the man!

The Day 'Deadwood' Fans Feared Is Finally Here

Does that make sense? I know some Deadwood fans that are still pissed Deadwood is over. They wanted a 4th season, and I understand their pain. For me, it was the best show I've seen on television, period. Don't fret guys, Milch has said some TV movies of Deadwood are in the works by next year.But, creator David Milch is a genius, and I'm one of the Deadwood fans that is excited about John from Cincinnati, and I'm sure it's going to be awesome.

David Milch (L) poses with actors Austin Nichols, Greyson Fletcher and Brian Van Holt at the premiere of the HBO original series "John from Cincinnati" at the Paramount Theater on May 31, 2007 in Los Angeles, California.

Beverly D'Angelo Nude Scenes From 'Vacation'

God, these National Lampoon Vacation movies are classic. All of them. At least all the ones Chevy Chase is in. I even like the Vegas one. Beverly D'Angelo was so hot in these films. She had to be one of the first women on TV that I thought about yanking one out to. Here she is in all her boobylicious glory:This may be the reason I'm so into Amy Poehler today. There's a striking resemblance. Hey, that would be a great casting call for a Vacation remake! Amy as Ellen Griswold!
I think I prefer Beverly D'Angelo to Christie Brinkley in this movie. And Christie was supposedly the fantasy 'supermodel' hot chick in the Ferrari. Funny how times change.