Bush Makes Fun Of Himself

The guy who does that perfect George W. Bush impression on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno was at the White House Correspondence Dinner yesterday in D.C., and he was making fun of Bush in front of him! The comedian's name is Steve Bridges, and he was also joined by Stephen Colbert of the The Colbert Report.

Hats off to the president for having the sense of humor to be on stage with the guy! The pictures are HILARIOUS!





Read the story here.

UPDATE: watch the video here:

M.C. Hammer Can Afford NBA Tickets

M.C. Hammer attends the Cleveland Cavaliers playoff game against the Washington Wizards during the Eastern Conference first-round playoff game played at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C., Friday night.

Nice! I bet those seats weren't cheap. Didn't he go through a bankruptcy where he lost everything he made? Poor dude. Hey, Hammer, enjoy the game bro, it's been a rough ride. Don't hurt 'em.

Paris Hilton Can Sell Anything

Paris Hilton poses for photographers during a presentation for a new beverage Saturday, April 29, 2006, in the Austrian skiing resort of Ischgl.

It was rumored that she was going to confront Pink at some music festival today. If those pics come in you know I'll have 'em.

Lily Cole And Models Who Are BETTER Than Us

It's thinspiration time! I've compiled this weeks list of skinny models that make us feel fat. Come on, join us, it's fun to poke fun at the fashion industry, while secretly being envious and jealous. We may even learn something about fashion! Put on your sarcastism caps, it's skinny model time:


Oh my god, how embarrassing for this model, those arm bracelets don't fit her at all. And they make her arms look totally FAT! Gross! (Rebecca Davies, Australian Fashion Week)



This model may be really tall and beautiful, but her toes look FAT! (Gosia Baczynska, Warsaw, Poland)



As always, the beautiful Lily Cole is looking like a porcelain doll. (Zimmermann at Australian Fashion Week)



Oh my. Who cast this show? They let this really really short model through the cracks. Oh, and not only is she way too short to be a model, but she's FAT! Major slip here. (C&A, Essen, western Germany)



Lily Cole, again, celebrates with Australian designer Rebecca Davies after her show. (Rebecca Davies, Australian Fashion Week)



The factory line of goddesses at Charlie Brown's show. My favorite is the redhead. (Charlie Brown at Australian Fashion Week)



No, this dress isn't see-through, this is just the ghost of Karen Carpenter! Oooooooh! (Akira, Australian Fashion Week)



I think it's safe to say that Lily Cole was the "star" of Australia Fashion Week. (Charlie Brown at Australian Fashion Week)




Nice. (Gorman at Australian Fashion Week)



Two models. (Bettina Liano at Australian Fashion Week)



I think this chick needs to lose some weight. Her thighs are totally FAT. (Zimmermann at Australian Fashion Week)

And this concludes Skinny Model Thinspiration time.

The Most Perfect Couple

Doesn't Actor Ed Burns and supermodel Christy Turlington look like they have a perfect life? Shown here arriving for the Vanity Fair party to celebrate the 5th Annual Tribeca Film Festival in New York. The festival opened Tuesday and will feature screenings of more than 250 films during a two week period.

She's still got it.

Milla Jovovich Is Into Fashion

Model, actress and designer Milla Jovovich and fellow designer Carmen Hawk attend the launch of their clothing label Jovovich-Hawk at Harvey Nichols department store in London.

Let's hope they flood the runways with more tall miracles of life.

Hilary Duff Concert Pics

These pics can even serve as thinspiration for some of you chicks out there. Are The Killers embarrassed she wears their T-shirt? And also, is she crying in the first pic?

I don't know what to think about her.

Today Is Gone

I'm tired, and I hate posting from my house. Tomorrow I'll have some pics of Hilary Duff, Milla Jovovich, and Christie Turlington. See ya later.

M

50 Most Beautiful People And A Homeless Man

So, People magazine's famous 50 Most Beautiful People issue is in stands and blah, blah, blahzzz %#5 (&^3 )@^*1 & 8%*7()#9 &%_*(#&# 9 8 ahhhhhhh!

Who cares!?

Why is it that we are so fixated on Angelina Jolie, especially now? And why does People En Espanol have Jennifer Lopez on their cover? Is the Hispanic media still on that? Are they THAT lost? I guess if you speak spanish your view of beauty somehow changes, drastically.


I speak both, so where does that leave me? Am I the only person sick of what is being thrown at us? Me and this guy:

George Clooney: "Take Me Seriously" Time

I always give entertainers a hard time when they try to get serious for a change. Like Jessica, Shakira, and today George.

George Clooney wants to be taken seriously sooooooooo bad, I can smell it from here. He wants to get into politics so bad. George, just make sure Ocean's 13 doesn't suck, that's all we want from you. That's all we expect.

Here he is flanked by Sen. Barack Obama of Illinios, right, and Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas, in a news conference at the National Press Club in Washington today to help bring awareness to the situation in the Darfur region of Sudan.

US Hot Hollywood Awards...

Jessica Alba holds her Style Icon of the Year Award during a party celebrating the Hot Hollywood Awards at the Republic Restaurant in West Hollywood last night. Gee, that's interesting because I'd swear she was HOLDING A BOOT! A tacky boot at that. I bet the US Weekly Awards design team thought they were being so creative when they designed this award. But they weren't. They were being designy and pretentious, and it shows on Jessica Alba's face.


And by the way, speaking of Jessica Alba, is she talking to Anie? She looks really skinny here. Avril Levigne has turned into a classy and hot babe!
Maria Sharapova is damn gorgeous, and a real woman.

And last but not least, for all you Paris-haters out there, yes, she was there too.

Jonathan Antinisms Galore!

My new obsession on TV is Blow Out with Jonathan Antin. I love this guy. If I had more hair left, I would totally pay 400+ bucks to have him cut it, and have him tell me to my face that I look "BANG-ladesh, dude!"

Here are my Antinisms from yesterday's shows:

1. "Silky Dirt, dude! Get to KNOW it! (he puts some on) Bam, dude!

2. "I was on a mission, a mission of HAIR!"

3. "You know how I say, 'I love the smell of hair product in the morning?' There's one more thing I like the smell of in the morning....and it's Hawaii."

4. "...to carry my message of drama-free hair."

5. "At the end of the day, it's about... Do you have great F--kin' hair, man? That's what it's ALL about."

6. (Talking about his son) "He is the greatest invention since milk."

7. "I don't think I'm the best hairstylist in the world... But, I firmly believe there's no one better."

50 Cent Helps Fat Kids

Rapper 50 Cent is a spokes-rapper and judge for a nationwide cooking competition aimed at preventing childhood obesity by improving high school students' eating habits. It is sponsored by Glaceau, the company partly owned by the rapper and that sells his grape-flavored Vitamin Water drink, Formula 50.

Jim Cramer Is Entertaining

I don't know much about the stock market, but I was addicted to Mad Money for like 7 months last year. Jim Cramer makes it fun to learn about stocks, the economy, and all that other mumbo jumbo.

He also shares my belief that Paris Hilton is a genius.

Here he is taping a show at the University of Michigan today in Ann Arbor.

Michelle Rodriguez Is A Stuck Up Little Girl Who Is Never Wrong

I imagine something like this is going on inside the mind of Michelle Rodriguez:

"And yeah, and I'm gonna go to jail for 5 days, and yeah, and I showed you guys! No one is going to make me do community service. I'm Michelle Rodriguez. I do whatever I want! I'm tough! Matter of fact, you can take your community service and shove it! Cause I'm Michelle Rodriguez, I'm Girlfight! I stand up for myself! I'm not gonna do anything YOU want me to do! I'll show you! I can take it!"

Oh please! Gimmie a break. What a phoney.

I hope she gets bitch-slapped and forced to go down on an herpes-ridden bull dyke, and the sores on her lips prevent us from seeing her in any other crap movie where she plays the "bad bitch" who lives on the edge.

You know, some people do volunteer work because they feel good about what they're doing, they believe it makes a difference, they help people. This girl is not only stupid for not taking the 240 hours that were given to her as an option, but she's also selfish. I can only guess that she thinks she has done nothing wrong, and that she's sticking it to the system, or whatever hallucination she believes. Sorry for the rant, but Michelle Rodriguez represents all that is wrong with youth culture today. No one is accountable. It's no one's at fault. And she's never wrong.

Great message to the youth, Michelle, great message.

Ugh! Look at her body language in court today! It's like we should be sorry for inconveniencing her. Yeah, sorry Michelle, drunk driving is not a big deal, sorry for wasting your precious time.

May Andersen Is Mean To Jeisa

As promised, I looked for the old clip of model May Andersen being snobby with Jeisa Chiminazzo, and I found one! There were two of them, if I remember correctly, and this is the nicer of the two. It's a short exchange, but basically May is lying to Jeisa her about her age, and doesn't invite her to her party.




Ok, so now can you imagine May Andersen telling off airport personnel with that attitude?

And how sweet is Jeisa? She's an angel.

I Bring You Tom Monaghan!

I can't help but to post Useless Things. Here is a work of art I call "Tom Monaghan."

It's Tom Cruise's head on top of his costar Michelle Monaghan's body. Yeah, I know I could have come up with a better name, but that what comments are for. So bring them on!

May Andersen Is A Typical Model

May Anderson is a bitch. I could have told you that like 3 years ago. But now it's in the news, so it's official. Here is the story. I'm not going to get into it. I'd rather talk about Jeisa.

May's been a bitch for a LONG time. There was a video of her being really mean to Jeisa Chiminazzo outside of a New York hotel lobby. Jeisa is the sweetest model ever, she was like 17 at the time, and barely spoke english.

(If I find the video, I will post it, it was literally 3 years ago)

Michelle Monaghan Loves Ana

This actress, Michelle Monaghan is somehow avoiding the radar in "thinspiration" circles, but not here. I'm calling her out! This chick is thin! Maybe even too thin!

She's not really all that popular of an actress, though she has an impressive list of big movies under her belt. And she looks like a total anorexic. Since I didn't have a sickly model post this past week, here is the lovely Michelle Monaghan.

Tom Cruise Is A Spectacle

I try to resist posting anything on Tom Cruise, or anything relating to TomKat, the baby, Scientology, any of that crap! I'm up to HERE with it!

But there's nothing today, so here he is in Italy jumping on top of things, waving, posing for the stupid "sunglasses look" picture, and just being a huge spectacle in general.




"Hi, I'm Philip Seymour Hoffman, I was in Italy too, but you wouldn't know that, you know why? Cause I didn't jump on top of any cars and pose like an idiot! I'm sure glad i met Tom on the set of Magnolia, 'cause I banked on this MI:3 picture. Oh, did I mention I also won the OSCAR for best actor this year? Yeah, that was me!"

Frank Gehry Redesigns L.A.

Architect Frank Gehry unveils the design for phase one of the $1.8 billion Grand Avenue revitalization effort today, in Los Angeles. The project is intended to bring night life to an area that is nearly deserted after office workers go home.

Great, now all the buildings in L.A. can look like giant crumpled up pieces of paper thrown about randomly.

Eh, I'm kidding, I actually like Gehry's designs. I visited the Walt Disney Concert Hall, and went inside, it was amazing.

The Wacky Faces Of Good Actors

Here some fun pictures of Fred Willard and Christopher Lloyd from the book "In Character: Actors Acting" by photographer Howard Schatz. The book contains photos of 100 stars of stage and screen shown closeup as they morph into various roles.

If you haven't seen Best in Show or Waiting for Guffman, you need to do so, right now.

If you haven't seen Back To The Future parts 1, 2, and 3, you deserve to be shot in the head.

Renee Zellweger Looks At A Statue

Rene Zellweger (trying her hardest not to be seen) watches as the ribbon is cut on a statue in front of the World of Beatrix Potter attraction at Bowness on Windermere, England. Zellweger is appearing in the film 'Miss Potter', about the iconic children's author and illustrator, whose most famous character is Peter Rabbit, which is currently being filmed in the Lake District.

It's Official, "Dallas" Is Going To Suck

It's been officially announced that John Travolta and Jennifer Lopez will be in the cast of the Dallas remake. Are we supposed to be excited about this? Hey Hollywood, how about giving us an original concept? Maybe something that challenges our thoughts, our ideas, our emotions?

No, no, that's too hard, let's just recycle old crap shows from the 80's and put big stars in them, they won't know the difference.

If you were to have told John Travolta in 1978 that he would be excited to be playing Larry Hagman's role in the movie version of that new TV show that just came out, Dallas, he would have laughed at you, told you he was the star of Saturday Night Fever, called you insane, and told you to get out of his way, you crackhead.

Same goes for Burt Reynolds. Why would he play a character (Boss Hogg) from the TV show Dukes of Hazard? When that show was popular he was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, being in the hugely successful Smokey and the Bandit, and hosting SNL, like all the big stars were, and still do.

PT Anderson, where are you?! Make another movie, we need you.

Dude, I Cut HAAAAAAAAR, Okay?

Last week I posted from my Sidekick II on how much I loved the show "Blow Out." Like everything, I catch on late to these things, especially TV stuff, since I'm always at work. I think Jonathan Antin is my newest hero. My last hero being Tom Sizemore. I bet they even know each other. This week he had 2 great Antin lines:

1. "BANG-la-desh, dude! " (reacting to how hot the model looked in the Bacardi Limon photo shoot)

2. "If you guys haven't been keeping score, it's Bad Hair: zero, Jonathan: one million."

And also, when he gets excited, he doesn't pronounce hair like most people do, he says it "har" like rhymes with "par."

"I cut Haaaaaar! Ok? Not cool in my salon, dude, NOT cool!"

Excuse To Post Lindsay Lohan Pics

Lindsay Lohan is set to star in a movie with Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman, with Garry Marshall at the helm. The movie is said to be called Georgia Rule, and it's about a girl (Lohan) who has a temultous relationship with her mom (Huffman) and is sent to spend a summer with her grandmother (Fonda).

Well, we can only speculate what crap this will be. Why didn't they just call it Monster-In-Law 2? Seriously, Lohan needs a good role. Tina Fey was right, she is being wasted, not by partying too much, but by bad scripts!

Gerard Depardieu's Wine

French actor Gerard Depardieu talks to the press during the presentation of his wine, produced along with his partner Bernard Magrez, at the K-Nal restaurant in Brussels today.

Useless information, I know. I can't help but to like this guy though.

Everyone should like Gerard Depardieu.

Lohan Chooses Partying Over SNL Buddies

Contactmusic.com has a story about Lindsay Lohan and the SNL cast. It seems Tina Fey and others tried to sit down with Lohan, and warn her about the dangers of her "partying" ways. Fey is quoted as telling her she is "wasting her gift of acting."

The reps for Lohan say there was no intervention, yet at the SNL afterparty, Lohan did not mingle at all with any SNL cast members.

That's right Lindsay, don't listen to them, they're just jealous, right?

Prada, Koolhaas Event

Richie Rich arrives at the opening of Waist Down - skirts by Miuccia Prada at an installation by Rem Koolhaas today in New York. Remember this guy? He's the Heatherette designer that had all those drag queens at his show.

Oops! Spoke too soon, Amanda Lepore was there too. Really weird.

Anna Faris Is Cute

She's been promoting Scary Movie 4 all this week. I like her because she doesn't seem to take herself too seriously. That's always a good quality. Also, there's something very liberating about this Scary Movie series. I really like them. You just have to be in the right mood to watch them, to laugh, and get over yourself.

And am I crazy, or does she look a lot like Marilyn Monroe? I'd cast her in a minute for that role.

Seventeen Magazine Promotes Fat Chicks

The May 2006 issue of Seventeen magazine has Pink on the cover, and announces the winner of their Reader Model Contest, a cute 16 year old redhead, Chelsea Grider.

Can I say it? She's fat, and so is Pink.

Don't be mad at me for saying that, I'm not the one who chooses only anorexic models for all of their advertiser's ads. That's the industry they support, and they subscribe to. Now they're trying to show us they don't think it's right, and be politically correct.

What do you think? You've seen the model pics I post from all over the world, they don't use big girls on the runway, and they don't use big girls in ad campaigns. Are they merely trying to promote a healthy image for girls? Or being hypocritical and covering their asses?

I think it's a good debate.

TomKat Has A Baby, Finally

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the high-profile couple, had a baby girl Tuesday, said Cruise spokesman Arnold Robinson. The baby, named Suri, weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long, he said. I hope this means it's over. I'd be so lucky.

Congrats to the Cruise's. Or Holmes's. Or Thetans. Or whatever they are.

Chili Peppers New Video & Pics

I'm a big fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. You should be too. Here is their new video for "Dani California" from their new album and pics from their first concert in Bilbao Spain today.

William Devane Is An All Around Good Guy

I wanted to post this because when do you ever hear of a celebrity doing something for free?

William Devane is the actor best known now for his role on the hit show 24, though his best movie is and will always will be The Bad News Bears In Breaking Training. Devane spent two days in filming commercials for the Highlands County Tourist Development Council, which he did cost-free as a favor to friends who live in Sebring.

Yup, that sounds like Kelly Leak's dad, alright.

The NBA Playoffs: Men In Tights?

Oh, this is bad news. It's bad news whenever you mix jocks and fashion. They never dress well, ever. I like to give NBA players a break though, because they are so tall, they can't help but to wear an 8 button suit instead of 2 button or 3 button. I can forgive them for that, because they didn't ask to be 7 feet tall, they just came out that way.

But I can't forgive them for this, apparently the new "trend" with NBA players is wearing tights underneath their shorts. Uhm. No. Sorry guys, tights will never equal manliness, thus never equal sports. Kobe, leave your tights back in the locker room. If a self-addressed metrosexual says they're gay.... guess what? They're gay.

Eva Longoria Has Chicken Legs

I still don't know what people see in this woman. Hopefully these pics from MTV's TRL will show her fans the truth. She's a short chick with chicken legs.

Compare her legs with the veejay's legs, who looks like a thin girl herself! Eva Longoria is nasty and tacky. The End.

Scary Movie 4 Nip Slip

Yes, thats right, the press materials for Scary Movie 4 contain a nip slip! Check out the blonde in the black lingerie. Everyone tells me I'm too cynical, a wild conspiracy theorist because I think nip slips and see-throughs are done on purpose.

Well, then why would they let this picture slide into press kits all over the world? It's very subtle, but its also unnecessary, because they include 2 pictures of basically the same photo. It's some sort of pillow fight between silicone-boobed lingerie models.

Here's the non-slip version:


Here's the whole package, you can see the second pillow fight pic is not needed.

Smart. They must have thought the reputable newsprint media can run the non-slip, and the bloggosphere idiots, like me, would post the slip. Either way, another Scary Movie 4 plug!

Missoni's Daughter Pimpin' Estee Lauder

Margherita Missoni, 23, daughter of designer Angela Missoni, is the face of the new fragrance in collaboration with Estee Lauder named for the brand founded by her grandparents more than 50 years ago.

She's very cute! Could this be the beginnings of a new fashion icon?

Private Pyle Visits Disney World

Vincent D'Onofrio visited Disney World with his family this Easter weekend. Chip and Dale wore Prison clothes to kind of mock his detective role on NBC hit series Law and Order: Criminal Intent.
Forget that, remember Full Metal Jacket? I do. I need to make a "Full Metal Jacket: Greatest Movie Of All Time" post soon. But in the meantime, here are some classic Private Pyle lines from R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket:

1. "I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle!"

2. "I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo."

3. "Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any f***ing effort to get to the top of the f***ing obstacle! If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?"

4. "Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke pieca' shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?"

5. "That's enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f*** you up!"

6. "Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!

Buddy Holly's Watch

Don't ask me when this turned into a watch blog. I don't know, but it is pretty Useless. Bugs Bunny's Philippe Patek, Jay -Z's meteorite watch, and now I bring you Buddy Holly's watch.

Awesome!

This is Buddy Holly's diamond-and-white gold Omega wristwatch, a gift from his wife, which Buddy Holly wore the day he died in a plane crash in Iowa on Feb. 3, 1959. The watch sold at Heritage Auction Galleries for $155,350.

Paris' Little Boy, Starving Nachos

So much for the rumors that Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos were dunskies. "Starving Nachos," as he is refered to by some bloggers, apparently isn't going away any time soon. Or at least until the Lakers fall out of the playoffs, I mean, who's name do you think those tickets are on? Starving Nachos's? Nay.

Check 'em out courtside at Staples Center on Easter Sunday where the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Phoenix Suns 109-89 to clinch a spot in the playoffs.





I bet they are texting each other.

Photoshop X-Ray Glasses: Amy Smart Edition

I can't believe I missed this nip slip. Well, It's actually a see through pic/nip slip. And a candidate for the Useless Things Photoshop X-Ray Glasses effect.

Amy Smart is a cute actress who's been in Varsity Blues, Butterfly Effect, and my favorite, Road Trip. You can see her bra is to blame for this accident. It seems to be off on her left side. I personally think nip slips are being done more on purpose these days, than as accidents, but thats just talk from a guy who's been working in a photo desk too long.

Here's the Photoshop X-Ray version:

The Weekly Sickly Model Post

Some blogs post links for the weekend, I post skinny fashion models that make you sick. You want links? Click on my blogroll to the left, they're not going anywhere.

This week I came across a model so skinny, I'm not even going to post the picture, cause it's kinda gross. So, here are the not so scary models, that I can make fun of without sounding cruel.



South Korean models pose with a new "Carens" by Kia, just south of Seoul. Koreans are looking good! But I doubt you can score with these chicks if you drive a Kia. They look like Beemer chicks. Or at least a new Audi.



Sarajevo Fashion Week in the Bosnia! Nice. Look how far apart her thighs are from each other. I know women whos arms are thicker than her thighs. (Alisa Novalic, Sarajevo Fashion Week)



Notice how models never care what their hair looks like, and half the time it looks like crap. This is the worst haircut I've seen on a woman, yet I don't mind at all, I still think she's gorgeous. (Iris Jukic, Sarajevo Fashion Week)



Now we go to Malaysia, where they dress anorexics in psychedelic colors. (Villiam Ooi, Spring Summer 2006, Kuala Lumpur)



But wait, hold that thought, speaking of psychedelic colors, now Pacific Dry Goods makes colorful purging tootbrushes that smile back at you when you've done your deed! Don't be naive and think these are toothbrush holders.

Done! 3 day weekend here I come!

Brokeback Mountain, The Bunny Version

These Bunny Films were the funniest things ever. I hadn't kept up with the company that does them, but they're still at it, and they have a hilarious Brokeback Mountain version.

I know I didn't want to hear the words "brokeback" or "crash" since the disaster of March 5th. But this is funny, so whatever.

CLICK here to Watch!

Another Statue?

I thought the Britney Spears sculpture was pretty neat, not only because it was a truly strange work of art, but it was nice to see people talking about art in the mainstream media. Yet, like everything else, there is always a fallout. Now celeb statues are in vogue. And now, were going to see them everywhere.

And who better to be next in line than Kate Moss? Here is "Sphinx" by artist Marc Quinn. As a scuplture it looks impressive. Of course this apears to be the young skinny Kate Moss, not the fat, coked up 32 year old woman we see today.



Read the BBC article here.

(Trying to get the Hi-rez soon)

Kevin Spacey Isn't Giving Up

Kevin Spacey poses outside The Old Vic Theatre in London. Spacey defended his leadership of the venerable institution today, but acknowledged the theater's latest production had been a disappointment. Spacey, who took the job of Artistic Director in 2004, told British Broadcasting Corp. radio that he was "more determined than ever" to serve out his 10-year contract.

Lindsay Lohan Wax Figure

I would have had these up a while ago, but the Getty server is acting up. Actually, I'm not going to make fun of these until I get the rest. But, wahtever. It's Lindsay Lohan's Madame Tussaud Wax figure. These things are amazing. Back with more later.

blah blah blah....

UPDATE: My Getty Server still sucks. I only have AP.

Entourage Films At Laker Game

Jeremy Piven, left, a cast member of the HBO series "Entourage" tapes an episode of the show court side with and producer Joel Silver, who is making a guest appearance, at the Staples Center during a basketball game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Golden State Warriors.

I stopped watching Entourage after the 3rd episode, season one. I figured I've already seen Swingers, and I wasn't in the mood for Sex And The City 2 With Young Men Instead. Has it gotten any better?

Now, Deadwood on the other hand, is a amazing.

A Little Early Isn't It, Eva Mendes?

Actress Eva Mendes arrives at the unveiling of a 2007 four-door Jeep Wrangler an auto show in New York. And, she's got one HUGE bottle of champagne! Right on!

It wasn't explained very well in the caption, but she was there to christen the new model Jeep, like a ship. But then what are these firefighters doing with the hoses? Did they blow her way? No, it was part of the unveiling, the car was covered in mud.

Confusing set of pictures, though. One might have thought Eva is just a raging alcoholic, and fire crews stopped her from getting behind the wheel by blasting her with 800 PSI's of water. Or it's just my nutty imagination.

Celebrity Watches Are Bothering Me

Okay. I'm not crazy. I know I post Useless Things like Bugs Bunny's watch, and stupid stuff like this.

Now, what's bothering me are these HUGE watches that everyone is wearing. It's so gaudy, so tacky! I mean, where are the normal size watches? Like 36mm wide? Aren't they cool too? These things are like 55mm wide! And loaded with diamonds and platinum and crap. Check out Jay Z with Beyonce at the Heat game last night. Now I like Jay Z, it's not only him, but look at the size of that thing!Okay, I have an idea. If extravagance and size and flash and costliness is the game here, dogg, then lets do this...

This next picture show a small slice from the Willamette Meteorite which sold for $12,000, and a 355-pound iron meteorite believed to have come from an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and sold for $93,000 at an auction of rare space sculptures at a Bonhams' New York natural history auction.That being said, check out my watch, dogg!

"Yo, yo yo, check this out, dogg, what? Look at my new bling, dogg what? Look, look, I got 5 time zones, checkit, and if I point this muthafucka towards the moonlight, I can tell what time it is on Mars, son! Yeah! Wassup now, dogg? My shit's made outta Meterorites, son! Fuck platinum, it's all about Meteorites! What? What?"


Ah.... I'm exhausted.

Ashlee Simpson Meets Russell Crowe

Ashlee Simpson, left, meets Russell Crowe as they arrive for the MTV Australia Music Video Awards in Sydney, Australia today.

I absolutely LOVE when unlikely celebrities take pictures together. Maybe because celebrities are so often presented to us the way THEY want us to see them, and its a fun change of pace to see an unlikely pair. It's refreshing!

And you know what? They actually look good together! Man, could you imagine the gossip Media FRENZY if Crowe left his wife for Ashlee? Oh wait, that happened already. It's called "Brangelina."


(Ashlee is looking smoking hot, I foresee a second coming soon)

Jonathan Antin In "Blow Out"

Posting this from my phone, will edit later.

I just wanted to post on how much I enjoy Bravo's hit show Blow Out, which chronicles hollywood hairstylist Jonathan Antin. As always, I hear about these things late.

The show is awesome! Jonathan is a badass! And you'll be hearing about this guy from me in the future, hopefully with pictures and interesting tidbits.

Paris Sings Happy Birthday

This is a great video from the megablog Egotastic. It's Paris Hilton singing "Happy Birthday" at Hugh Hefner's Party, where Ryan Seacrest was looking high.

WARNING:
If you HATE Paris Hilton, this video will anger you.
If you LIKE Paris Hilton, you will not after you watch this.*

Watch the Video>>>




* Yes, smartasses, I have to put my foot in my mouth, she sounds bad. But, I still stand by that "Screwed" is not a bad song.

Excuse To Post Mischa Barton Pictures...

Yeah, I have to have Mischa Barton on all of my archived pages, so for that reason, and this tidbit from Contactmusic.com, here is the beauty.

They basically just deny that she's leaving the show. Which, she should leave, she needs to start doing more movies, or she'll be known as a TV star all her life.

New Hairstyle For Women

This old photo of former actress Dolores Hart was in the system today, and I felt like posting it because I like the hairstyle.

Why don't chicks wear their hair like this today? It looks good!

Come on people, lets get creative!

Eminem's Buddy Shot To Death

Proof got shot, man. That sucks. When is violence going to disappear from Hip-Hop?

I'm sick of this crap. And I love Hip Hop, I'm a full supporter all the way, but we have to teach kids that it's not real, that it's entertainment. And stop promoting this "bad ass macho" mentality. Tell the kids the truth, man.

Anyhow, my heart goes out to Deshaun Holton and his family, and to Eminem who was his best friend.

Ryan Seacrest And Boobies

Ryan Seacrest, center, poses with Playboy's "Painted Ladies" during Hugh Hefner's 80th birthday, Saturday night at the Playboy Mansion.

I love the way the women aren't allowed to give their names, they are merely "Painted Ladies." We've really gone far with that "women's movement" since Playboy started in the sixties, huh? Names? No, no, no, they don't get names.

If anything, Seacrest is the one who should be nameless here.

It's All You, Tom, It's All You

You know, it's just my favorite tidbit of the year, so far.

It's changed the way I look at this woman. For all her glamour, beauty, and sophistication, I'll always look at her and know Tom Sizemore was totally hittin' that.

It's like the most inspirational story of the year.

Elton John Sells His Closet

Elton John and his little buddy David Furnish have opened a store in New York's Rockefeller Center named "Elton's Closet." The clothes from the closets of Elton and David, and the nearly 10,000 pieces of clothing will be on sale to the public for five days to benefit the Elton John Aids Foundation.

Um, wait a minute, these are old clothes that used to belong to these cats? This is no closet, this is a damn thrift store! Look at the pictures! It's a regular salvation army!

Karen O Is My Girlfriend

Yeah, right. But she is my speed. Why do I like these weirdo chicks? I mean, I sit here and make fun of Jessica Simpson, Shakira, and Jessica Alba, but then I'm strangely attracted to a chick who wears what appears to be a homemade Peter-Pan costume and dirty white Converse Allstars. Go figure.

Maybe it's because she's original. The new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album is really good. Go out and get it.

I wish these pictures were better, they're kind of dark.


Oops, I forgot. These pics are from a concert in Washington, D.C. last week.

Green: The Underrated Color For Jackets

I believe the Masters Golf Tournament has given the green jacket a bad name. It's really a very great color for a sport coat. I have one, although just a tad darker green that the one Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson have on in these pics.

I wear it at all the time too, not only on St. Patrick's Day at John Martin's.

Oh, and I'd get a 2 button one instead of a three, more casual.

Phil won this year, if anyone cares.

Does Jessica Alba Have Something To Say?

Jessica Alba was at the 17th annual Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Media Awards at the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles on Saturday.

Um, I checked out her iMDb page, and she doesn't have any gay themed movies coming out, and she hasn't played a lesbian in a movie, yet. I know you don't have to be gay to attend or support the gay cause, but come on, what is she trying to say here?

You can't just tease the lesbian community like this, you know, thats cruel. And as a supporter of the lesbian community, I want answers!

Is she gay? I hope so! I'm liking her a lot more these days, especially since I found out how weird she is.

Pink Spears Statue On Opening Night

Artist Daniel Edwards poses by his sculpture "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston" during the opening night reception Friday in New York.

It looks better in pink, makes it look more pop culture-ish. Oh, I also found a picture of the statue from the back. Kinda gross. This thing isn't going away, people, deal with it! I actually think it's great this guy is rocking the art world with this thing. It needed to be shook.

Check out the funny kid taking a snapshot!

Caroline Trentini Is Skinnier Than You

Harsh headline, huh? Whatever. Here's the weekly roundup of skinny beautiful people in the fashion world. No clear winner this week, there were a lot of fatties at the Mexico and India Fashion Weeks. And by "fatties" I mean women who actually weigh over 100 lbs.



Jessica Stam and Caroline Trentini share a Yohji Yamamoto hat during a fashion shoot for Harper's Bazaar magazine, fashions inspired by the Amish.



Caroline Trentini was my discovery of the week. A Brazilian model who's beauty is almost too much to take in all at once.



Look, It's a Mary-Kate Olsen lookalike contest! It's easy, just throw up before the show, and wear clothes that are 2 sizes too big on you. (Fernando Torres, Fashion Week Mexico)


Mickey hats are still in style in Mexico, it seems. (Nznia Concept Studios, Fashion Week Mexico)



And another Caroline Trentini pic, here with Heather Marks. That's all this week.

Audrey Griswold Is Playing In Miami

I'm so excited about seeing Juliette and the Licks tonight! They're playing tonight at Studio A.

Nice! I love her in the movie NBK and Kalifornia. And of course, my personal favorite, Christmas Vacation.

Jessica Alba Likes Buttons

I've been kinda hard on Jessica Alba. She's not my type, and she always has a snobby look about her. But she may have redeemed herself in my eyes today.

She may have an abstract or artsy side to her. She's obsessed with buttons! Apparently she spend hours at this "old button" store. She looked through all the boxes, and waited in the pouring rain to find the right ones.

That's impressive! She's got a little thrift store junkie in her, much like myself.

Bugs Bunny's Watch

Mel Blanc was not only the voice of a bunch of Looney Tunes characters, but also an avid watch collector. This rare 18k gold perpetual calendar chronograph wristwatch with moon phases by Patek Philippe is estimated to bring in $200,000-300,000 at Christies auction house in New York.

If anyone wants to buy me a watch, I'd like a Tiffany Mark by Tiffany & Co. I'll be waiting by my mailbox.

Cut Copy Is Good

Pick up the Cut Copy CD Bright Like Neon Love. It's really good. It's what I've been listening to at work all day while posting these Useless rants.

Mischa Barton's Boyfriend's Dad Gets A Star

Grammy-winning music producer Lou Adler, who launched "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" into cult status, is honored today with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles.

No, that's it. I'm not going to say anything else. I mean, I won't even mention his son's name.

I just like knowing that if it were my dad who was responsible for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, that I'd be with Mischa Barton right now. And when I say "right now" I really do mean right now. As we speak. As you read this. Right now.

Monkeys Steal Cell Phones

Ha! Isn't this great? Can you imagine trying to take a crappy cell phone picture at the zoo and having one of these little guys snatch your phone from you?

Here's the full story.

Eva Longoria Can Be Seen From Space

Air travelers flying over southern Nevada this week got a look at a bikini-clad Eva Longoria on a 75-by-110-foot Maxim magazine cover display in the desert outside Primm, Nevada. It was put there to commemorate the magazine's 100-issue milestone.

Cool idea, but did they have to ruin it by choosing Eva for the cover? She's so nasty.

Chad Michael Murray Is A Stooge

What a putz this One Tree Hill star is. After his marriage to Sophia Bush failed, probably because he was seeing this extra Kenzie Dalton (who was underage at the time) now he's rumored to be engaged again.

In these pics you see him escorting Kenzie Dalton during the North Carolina Azalea Festival Queen's Welcoming Ceremony at the Wilmington International Airport in Wilmington, N.C. And, she's got a ring! I'd say its pretty much official.

You'd have to be an idiot to leave Sophia Bush for this little girl, I'm sorry. What a moron.

Celebrity Dog Show

What am I doing here? This is useless.

Ali Lohan (Lindsay's sister) poses with her dog Chloe. And Beth Ostrosky (Howard Stern's girlfriend ) poses with her dog Lucky at the 7th Annual Paws for Style celebrity benefit pet fashion show in New York. Top clothing designers created outfits for the dogs to wear which were auctioned off at the event with proceeds going to the Animal Medical Center.

Lucky and Beth are wearing Nicole Miller. And Ali and Chloe are wearing, ah well, who cares.

I'm wearing a western style polyester sport coat from Flamingo Plaza thrift shops in Hialeah. It was 4 bucks.

Hilary Swank X-Ray Glasses

I haven't done a Photoshop X-Ray glasses effect in a while. See through pics are hard to come by, but today TheSuperficial.com has 3 great Hilary Swank pics.

So I did it to one of them:




Oh, and a quick link to see the last one I did with Mischa Barton.

Valley Girl Commentary...

Yeah, so I don't think I'm going to post anything else today. I'm now watching Valley Girl all over again with Martha Coolidge commentary.

Am I the only one who watches DVD's with the commentary? Am I the only one, Joe?

Whatever, it's interesting.

Nick Cage In Valley Girl

Not much Useless Crap out there today. So instead, I'll screen cap my current Netflix rental. Valley Girl.

I have to say, I've officially made Nicolas Cage's character Randy my personal hero. He's just too awesome for words in this movie.

Though my favorite line from the movie comes from his friend Fred. Fred says, "Hi. I'm Fred. I like tacos and '71 cabernet, and my favorite color is magenta." I'm going to use that.

And one of the girls says, "trippin-dicular!" Which I plan to use as well.

This movie was actually great, it reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite for some strange reason. Simply genius.

MTV Desperate To Find Their Next "Jackass"

(Breathe in.....breathe out)
Oh boy, where do I start? Okay. MTV has a new show out, it's called Call to Greatness. From what I can tell it's like Jackass, except less original, and less interesting. It's a bunch of "wild and crazy kids" trying to break world records in foolish endeavors. Those "kids" have stupid names like Ghost, Rainbow, Andreas, Paul and Drew, ok only two of them have stupid names, but they make the other three sound dumb too.

The thing I liked about Jackass was that it was real, those guys were real. If MTV hadn't of picked them up, Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville would probably be broke, doing the same things all on their own, running into bushes with shopping carts, or shooting themselves with pellet guns. It was kind of like performance art, and I think Spike Jonze saw that.

This thing looks contrived. These guys are hacks, looking for their in. MTV knows they're out there, a generation of wannabees willing to do anything to be on TV. And here they are!

I never sought out to be the MTV social critic, but when they present us with this trash, I can't help it. I like my crazies to be authentic, damnit! Is that too much to ask?

Eat your 32 oz. of Mayonaise in less than 40 seconds, "Ghost." If you don't do it... well, there'd be another whacky guy named "Ghost" doing it, just not you.

Shakira Pulls A Jessica Simpson

There were a lot of inquiries on that stupid Shakira/Wyclef post. So here's the Colombian singer trying to do her best Hillary Clinton, just as Jessica did last month.

She's at the United Nations headquarters in New York for a panel discussion entitled "Women, Development and Microcredit"organized by Women Together.

Isn't it funny how all these women, who otherwise would be half naked on stage singing songs about "oral fixations" want us to stop, and take them seriously just because they dressed up one day?

I Won't Read Dean Koontz

I have nothing against the guy, really. He's an established writer, with loyal readers, and many movie deals. Whatever.

After seeing this picture, I decided that I don't need to read anything written by a guy who wears a really bad toupee, a terrible shirt, AND a gold Rolex Day-Date.

What bothers me the most is the Rolex Day-Date. You see, the Rolex Day-Date is the Rolex that replaced the Rolex Presidential. The Rolex Presidential was the gaudy popular watch of choice for drug dealers in the 80's and Wall Street yuppies.

It's just bad taste, man. For this reason I will never read a Dean Koontz novel.

P. Diddy Can Forgive Himself

Come one dude! If you get asked to ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, in order to promote your own product, at least be on time!

Sean Combs (also known as P.Diddy, and still my favorite, Puff Daddy) right, with Federated Department Stores Chairman, President & CEO Terry Lundgren, center, and New York Stock Exchange CEO John Thain on the bell podium well after the ringing of the opening bell today.



Combs said he was stuck in traffic and missed the ringing of the bell at 9:30 a.m. The group was celebrating the success of Combs fragrance Unforgivable, which has become the number one selling fragrance in department stores in the U.S.

Lohan At The Kid's Awards

Actress Lindsay Lohan accepts the award for Favorite Movie Actress at the Kids' Choice Awards on Saturday.

I'm guessing this will probably be the last time she'll get invited to the Kids' Choice Awards. Check out her butt!