Dwyane Wade Farts On Richard Hamilton

From the looks of it, it was a real stinker. Today was a real crap day for celebrity gossip. I had nothing. You know I'm in trouble when I post sports stuff and I'm NOT making fun of what they wear.

Ah, they lost in Detroit, it goes to game 6 on friday.

GO HEAT!!!!

Sofia Coppola Expecting

Sofia Coppola, left, and French singer Thomas Mars arrive for the screening of the film "Marie-Antoinette," at the 59th International film festival in Cannes last week. Coppola is expecting a baby, due this winter, People magazine reported today on its Web site. Mars is the lead singer for that band Phoenix. Congratulations to them both!

Wednesday Links

Jude Law jogs in his boxers. = TPWLTH
Taylor Hicks high school pictures. = Just Jared
Kevin Federline cleans up. = Dlisted
Hilary Duff and a birthday cake. = The Bastardly
Kate Beckinsale's ass crack. = Egotastic
Britney getting divorced? = Popbytes

And a 1 year happy birthday shout out to fourfour.

Tuesday Links

Why does Jessica Alba have Jessica Simpson hair? = Gone Hollywood
Lindsay Lohan is moving to London for some jackass. = Egotastic
Paris Hilton's porno video shoot. = The Bastardly
Nicole Richie needs to eat, now. = IDLYITW
Mischa Barton is mean to her mommy. = A Socialites Life

Mariah Carey Is Tacky; Has Great Legs

Singer Mariah Carey watches as a 16-foot tall replica of her legs is revealed as she's named the first "Celebrity Legs of a Goddess," in New York today. The event was part of a promotion as Gillette begins a nationwide search for the most beautiful legs in the United States.

Well, I don't think those 16 foot tall legs look like hers at all! This is sooooo tacky, it's almost not even funny. It's like the statue Tony Montana had in his living room with the neon sign. It's just bad. I fear that pop culture is heading into a new era of tackiness. A really bad tackiness, not the good kind.

Vince Vaughn Throws A Ball

Actor Vince Vaughn, left, talks in the dugout with Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker before throwing out the first pitch before the start of the Cubs baseball game against the Cincinnati Reds on Monday at Wrigley Field in Chicago. I love this guy! I don't care about him and Aniston, I just want him to be in another Swingers-type movie with Jon Favreau. Though I heard Favreau is in The Break Up movie. What a crowd pleaser, everything this guy says is funny to me!

Nacho Libre Surfs A Wave

Actor Jack Black rides a wave on a body board at Wave House wave pool during taping for MTV's Summer Sizzle '06 at San Diego's Mission Beach Monday.

I can't wait for that Nacho Libre movie. It's going to be the test to see if Napoleon Dynamite was just a fluke, or a great movie by a great new young director. I'm hoping for the latter.

My Long Weekend Links

Paris Hilton nip slip. = EgotasticBen and Jen, remember them? = Popsugar
Brian Austin Green is a dirty old man, and my hero. = IDLYITW
Kate Bosworth is rude. = Dlisted
Hayden Panettiere and Roberto Cavalli. = The Bastardly
Ashlee Simpson is a boxing champ. = Hollywood Tuna

Superman Costume: Then And Now

I think it's interesting to look at the differences in the Superman costume from the 1978 version to the 2006 version. A major difference I see is the toned down colors. The blues are bluer but it seems the red cape is toned down, and I read it doesn't have an "S" on the back either. Also the new costume has tiny little S's semi-preforrated all around it, that's kinda overdoing it, but still, a very cool detail.

The 1978 costume looks like an imitation Underoos pajama, by today's standards. It seems to be spandex, and the "S" looks to have been cut out by a guy with a pair of fiskars. It's kinda sad to think that costume was so bad-ass back then, no one questioned how "authentic" it looked. I think about how we're going to look at this 2006 costume 30 years from now. Will I think it's cheap, and cheesy? Far out!

Yeah Yeah Yeah's And Company B Together!

I'm a sucker for the whole "mashup" remixes. I think it started with that Strokes song mixed with Christina's "Genie in a Bottle", then Jay-Z did the Grey Album, which mixed the Beatles' White Album with Jay's Black Album, and more recently the Linkin Park Jay-Z collaboration.

Now MK from Popbytes has found another gem, check it out, it's a remixed of "Fascinated" by Company B and "Gold Lion" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

CLICK IT!!!!

Hugh Hefner Celebrates His Birthday Whenever He Feels

Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner holds a birthday cake with girlfriends Kendra Wilkinson, left, Bridget Marquardt, second left and Holly Madison, right, during a photocall to celebrate his 80th birthday at the 59th International film festival in Cannes today.

Um, thats funny, because I remember Paris Hilton singing Happy Birthday to him almost 2 months ago. What's the deal? On his imdb profile it states his birthday was on april 9th. Then again, if I had 3 playmate girlfriends I'd celebrate my birthday every month too. Actually, maybe the party where Paris sang him Happy Birthday just hasn't ended yet. Maybe it's like a 2 month party binge!

God, I wish I was 80 years old. Oh, and the publisher of Playboy.

Wednesday Night Links

Wanna lick Alyssa Milano's armpits? = The Barstardly
Elizabeth Hurley's nip-slip that never was. = Egotastic
Faye Dunaway then and now. = PopBytes
Mariah Carey's pepsi commercial. = fourfour
Bai Ling's Nip SLIP!!= Celebrity Crunch

"Hi, I Like You. Do You Like Me?"

Man this is great! Borat in Cannes! Apparently Sacha Baron Cohen is shooting new Borat episodes. He's a genius, but you can see people are hip to it already.



Many more pictures at goldenfiddle.com

I Love Me Some Kirsten And Sofia

I love Kirsten Dunst. I love Sofia Coppola. Here they are presenting their movie Marie-Antoinette at the Cannes Film Festival. (where else?) People are so hard on Kiki on gossip blogs, they call her "troll" and other names. I really don't see why, she's beautiful. I think she's a big star, and I especially love her crooked tooth. It's special. I think she's got a great body too, check out her bikini pictures from Cannes.

Today's pictures:

Hot Country Chicks, Kelly Clarkson, And A Midget

Carrie Underwood is definaltey the hottest of the group! She's like a country music version of Jessica Simpson! Nice. I may even start listening to her music, how about that?

Ok, lemme get the rest of these chicks in order. First off is Trace Adkins (a dude) surrounded with skanky country dancers. Katrina Elam in the pink dress. Martina McBride in the black dress. And cute little redhead is Megan Mullins.


And finally, Kelly Clarkson was there too, and a midget named Two Foot Fred. Maybe he was trying to hook up with her, after all, she's a midget as well.

Hot Chicks Promote Video Games

I love this whole video game promotion world. It's so transparent to me, although millions must be buying right into it. Just get a bunch of hot chicks, take suggestive pictures of them in hot-pants playing the video games, and wait for every gamer out there to salivate over them. Give them the "hope" that they can hook up with a girl like that. These gamer conventions have an eerie similarity to porno conventions. And why not? I mean, after the gamer is finally tired of Counterstrike, what does he naturally do? Look up porn.

I just want the gamers out there to know one thing. None of the women shown here care if you're the number one player of Splinter Cell. No, really. I don't care if they're in a female gamer group. They're all just trying to be famous. Sorry. The PMS Clan is their gimmick. What they really want from a man is for him to be able to put them on TV. Trust me.

What's Up With Jena Malone?

Dude, she looks horrible in that dress! Is it supposed to look like tumors are bulging out of her thighs? If so, then it works. Otherwise, wow, what a big mistake. I think she's a good actress, but she's been in some shitty movie recently. Ever seen Confessions of an American Girl? It's unwatchable. Well, I really hope her newer movies do better. And she needs to fire her stylist, like, today.


Oh, and if the line of photographers didn't give it away, yes, she was at Cannes, attending the premiere for Cate Blanchett's movie.

"The Break Up" Premiere Pictures

Finally, a premiere that ISN'T in Cannes this week. The much talked about movie starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is finally here, or at least in L.A. Check out Aniston in the car before she gets out. She doesn't look too happy! And notice that for the red carpet they tried not to be photographed together, so the photogs snapped pics of both of them with the image of the other on the poster in the backround. Interesting. Though they did pose for a group shot together once they were inside.

Cate Blanchett Still Beautiful, Still Fashion Icon

Cate Blanchett showing up at Cannes for the interviews, premieres, photo-calls, etc. She looks great! I'm a big fan of her work, and I can;t wait to see the new movie she's in, Babel. Look at her in both getups, the clothes are really out there, but for some reason she tones them down. She know how to wear clothes. She's great, I can see why designers love her wearing their clothes.

Halle Berry Is A Paparazzi

I thought this was pretty Useless. She's taking a picture of Brett Ratner with some unidentified model. I've always thought celebrities were pretty stupid to take pictures of themselves with shitty cameras. Especially since they have pros following them everyday with state of the art equipment. Do they really need a crappy picture of themselves? You know their respective agencies can pick up a way better version from gettyimages.com.

Some Monday Links

Jessica Simpson without make-up. = A Socialites Life
Bananarama still looking good. = Dlisted
Madonna tied to a effin' cross? = fourfour
Coco's nipples. Nice! = Celebrity Crunch

It Wouldn't Be Cannes Without Paris

Guess who was in Cannes as well, at the premiere for X-Men 3? Our favorite little spoiled girl, Paris Hilton. Damn, this girl is everywhere! And when the hell is her CD coming out, finally? I'm dying to hear it.




PICTURE UPDATE: Sexy legs!

The Eames Lounge Chair Never Goes Out Of Style

Yes, this is a post about a chair. An Eames lounge chair and ottoman made from molded rosewood plywood, with black leather upholstery and aluminum from the Grand Rapids (Mich.) Art Museum. New York's Museum of Art and Design has an exhibition entitled The Eames Lounge Chair: An Icon of Modern Design running until Sept.3, 2006.

Special thanks to Korryn for buying me the book! It's great!

Marilyn Manson Just Is

Marilyn Manson, right, and his wife Dita Von Teese arrive for the screening of the film Southland Tales at the 59th International film festival in Cannes, southern France today.

This guy's been at this for over 14 years now, he's not going anywhere. I think he has some major balls showing up to events in full on makeup like this. He's an artist. At first it was a gimmick, but now, he's an artist.

I'm over Dita, though, I think he can do much better. The Betty Page thing is getting old, we read the book and saw the movie already, get over it. And she's fat.

Chicks From X-Men Picture Post

Want to see some X-Men chicks in Cannes? I thought so.

This better be the last X-Men movie, because I don't think these chicks are looking all that hot. Let's just hope it's because they've been partying at Cannes, and not that they're all on the downslope of their careers.

Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Go Shorty It's Your Birthday

50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) promotes his new film Home of the Brave by American director Irwin Winkler at the 59th International film festival in Cannes today. From Queens to Cannes, you gotta love it.

I'm actually a big Hip-Hop fan, so I'm glad to see an American artist like 50 Cent "representin" in Cannes today.

And yes, I'm hopelessly white, I have to put "representin" in quotes.

Cynthia Nixon Is A Turtle

Oh boy, I have to be mean, again. Actually, Cynthia Nixon was my favorite of the four women in Sex and the City. She's an outstanding actress, and a real talent. Ok, now I can call her a turtle, and compare her to a Dana Carvey character.

This is just like the Kelly Clarkson is a midget post, it's not their fault! The picture shouldn't have been selected! Bad edit by the photographer.

Charlie Sheen Is Down At Fraggle Rock

Charlie Sheen is seen during an interview with the Associated Press at the 59th International film festival in Cannes, southern France, today. He looks like a Fraggle.

Nicole Richie At Cannes?

Dude, who invited Nicole Richie to Cannes? She doesn't even have a movie showing in the festival.

Avril Lavigne Is Cuuuuuuute

Here is a big picture post on Avril Lavigne arriving for the screening of the film Over the Hedge at the Cannes Film Festival. Damn, she looks great! Doesn't she?

Skinny People Are Back!

I know I've been slacking on my Skinny Model Posts. I'm sorry. It's just that there aren't too many fashion shows going on right now, and I'm not as inundated in photos of these miracles of life we call models. Lucky for you I have some file fashion art saved up from previous years, so here's your thinspiration. And remember, you are not as skinny as these women, and you will never be, because merely looking at these pictures instantly makes you fat.


What a cool wife-beater. This chick is THIN, boy. Look at her arms, they're almost invisible. (D&G Spring/Summer 2005 Milan, Italy)


What a nice top. (Emilio Pucci Spring/Summer 2005 Milan Fashion Week)


This one is for my Jeisa fans. Yes, she looks too skinny here, but she is just breathtaking. (D&G Spring/Summer 2005 Milan, Italy)


And right behind Jeisa is a much younger Daria Werbowy, this is totally before the GQ article made her big. (D&G Spring/Summer 2005 Milan, Italy)



Can anyone say "Stick in a dress?" Yeah, that's what this is. (Bottega Veneta Spring/Summer 2005 collection Milan, Italy)

Weekend Links

Elisha Cuthbert Parties it up. = A Socialites Life
Pepper Dennis is over. = PopSugar
Ice-T's wife Coco is something to behold. = TPWLTH
Rosario Dawson kisses Axl Rose. = Dlisted
Lohan with Nicole's DJ Am? = Hollywood Rag
Paris Hilton illustration. = The Bastardly
Jessica Alba kicks ass. = Egotastic!
Awesome Simon Rex rap song. = PopBytes
Evangeline Lilly drinks piss. = Celebrity Crunch

The Cannes Film Festival Is Groundhog Day

This is really bad. Look at the photo of Penelope Cruz at the Cannes Film Festival today:
Now look at a picture of her at the same festival on May 13th, 2000:
Three things strike me about these pictures.

1. Check out the photographers in the back. At least 3 of them that are standing on the same spots they were standing in 6 years ago.
2. Penelope Cruz has barely aged in 6 years.
3. The whole turning around picture at Cannes hasn't gotten old yet.

Ozzy Parties With Prince Charles, Hardy Har Har!

Looks like everyone is all smiles on this one, what a great photo! Britain's Prince Charles, Ozzy Osbourne, and British Pop Idol contestant Chico (in the middle) share a laugh at a reception at Clarence House in London today.

The Go-Go's Finally Run Out Of Money

I bet Belinda Carlisle has been living a good life since "We Got The Beat," "Vacation," and "Our Lips Are Sealed." But it seems the ride is over. They're out there again, putting themselves on Pizza commercials ("We Got the Meat" Papa Johns spot), and performing on NBC's Today Show.

I'm a big fan so I think it's great. It's just kinda depressing because the 80's-girly-teeny-bopper energy is sort of lacking, isn't it? I mean, she's 47.

Bruce Willis Is Totally Hittin' It

I never go by rumors when I read about celebrities and who are supposedly dating. So, when I heard about Bruce Willis and Petra Nemcova, I was weary. But now that I see them together in France, I see the huge smile on Bruce's face, and I now believe.

Bruce Willis and Petra Nemcova announced a project to create a photo book of celebrities for the Happy Hearts Fund, which raises money to aid children in need who have suffered from natural disasters and other causes.

Note to God: Please let me be as lucky as Bruce when I'm 51, and throw me a supermodel bone, please. I'll pray everyday, I promise.

New Apple Store Kicks Ass

The new Apple computer store opens today at 6:00 pm on New York's 5th Avenue. They say it's the most innovatively designed store yet. And it looks that way. The entrance is a glass cube which has a stairway going into the underground store. How bad ass is that?

Links For Thursday...

The Brandon Davis/Paris Hilton video. = The Superficial
Nicole Kidman's wedding. = A Socialites Life
Lindsay Lohan has dirty teeth. (I still love her). = PopSugar
Nicky Hilton visits her "star" = TPWLTH
Tyra Banks totally has a mustache. Nasty. = IDLYITW
Pete Doherty sprays camera with blood. Gross. = Dlisted
Alyssa Milano has hairy arms. = The Bastardly
Lindsay Lohan's revenge for Paris. = Egotastic
How many guys has Gisele Bundchen slept with? = DerekHail
Is Jlo preggers? = PopBytes
Things that make you go Ewww. = Cityrag

UPDATED link: TMZ.com has an amazing picture of Britney almost droping her baby, and some random guy trying to save it.

Phoebe Price: Cannes' First Casualty

Ah, Yes! I told you the Cannes Film Festival was going to give us great shit. Here is the first casualty of the red carpet, actress Phoebe Price caught on thousands of different cameras by hundreds of agencies. Well, here are AP and Getty's takes. Enjoy!

Chad Michael Murray Still An Idiot

Remember this idiot who left Sophia Bush for some high school chick? Yeah, they were at the CW network premiere thing in New York.

This guy was banned from attending that little girl's high school prom, isn't that embarrassing? You were once married to the supercute Sophia Bush (who looks amazing in these pictures) and now you've been banned from attending a high school event, not unlike a child predator who is banned from living near an elemantary school. This guy is so dumb.

Mischa Barton Dies On The O.C.

Some O.C. fans are upset at Mischa Barton for spilling the beans on her character Marissa Cooper on the hit show The O.C. Apparently she told Access Hollywood that her character dies in the season finale, before it airs tonight. Here's the story. And here is my excuse to post Mischa Barton pictures. She is so gorgeous.

And to all those O.C. fans who are supposedly upset, get a life. She's better than that stupid show, she outgrew it, get over it.

Two Blondes On CBS

I've been a fan of Amy Smart for a while now. Road Trip is a great film. She's got a new show on CBS called "Smith" and here she is promoting it at the CBS event in New York.

Ashley Scott played Gigolo Jane in Spielberg's A.I., yet it seems her role was cut short. That movie could have been so much better, I still like it though. Anyhow, she's another breathtaking blonde, and she was there to promote her new show "Jericho."


Blondes! Blondes! Blondes!

I Hate Soccer, But I Love Models

I hate Soccer. Soccer sucks. It's the worst sport ever. I wish we could eradicate the sport of soccer in all parts of the world. Since that is never going to happen all I can do is point out all the evil things that occur in the world due to this horrendous sport. Starting today, with these series of photos.

Just look at the inhumanity. Look at the terror. Look at what Soccer has done to these models! They look ridiculous! I can't stand it! Victims of soccer!



If anyone is interested, these pics have to do with promoting the upcoming World Cup tournament, in Munich, southern Germany.

Some Jonathan Antinisms

I'm now watching Blow Out reruns on Bravo. The show is so great. The last 2 reruns deal with Brandon, the stylist Jonathan fired from his salon for being too immature. Now Brandon has his own reality show on Bravo, it's called Salon Diaries.

Here are some Antinisms from these episodes:

1. "Baberaham Lincoln!"

2. "Its like Vidal on his best day wished he could have done that. Do you know what I mean? With all do respect to Vidal."

3. "I'm telling you, you better stop. 'What time do you get off?' that's my
next question." -In response to the lady at Lenscrafters, when she kept telling him he looked good.

4. After firing Brandon, he left this message on his phone - "...I just heard from a client that you asked her out, and got her phone number inside of my f***ing salon. Are you out of your mind, dude? What do you think this is? A pimpin' agency? You hair shit is being delivered
to your house, you are no longer allowed in my salon. Low class, brother, get a life!"

Evel Knievel Is My Hero

Former daredevil Evel Knievel is seen here with his long time partner Krystal Kennedy-Knievel and their dog, Rocket in Clearwater, Florida. Knievel has trouble now just walking from his condo to the pool. His 67-year-old body is broken by years of spectacular crashes and ravaged by a multitude of serious ailments. What a badass.

"There is no king, no prince, no president, no athlete, nobody that has ever lived a better life than I have." —Evel Knievel

Eva Longoria Is Like An Annoying Little Mouse

I had to put these up. No story. No plug. Just some good ol' hatin'. She's like 4 feet tall! She's so annoying! Look at the way that dude from the home design show and the fat girl with chicken legs are looking at her! Priceless. How about that group photo? She's like 2 feet shorter than Brenda Strong.



I know, I know, I'm a hater.

Bono Is A Newspaper Editor

Tomorrow's Independent has been taken over by U2 frontman, Bono. Check out the front cover!



The last picture is a work of art commissioned by the "The Independent" by a graffiti artist named Banksy in Chalk Farm, London. The piece, titled "Sweeping It Under The Carpet" is intended to represent a metaphor for the west's reluctance to tackle issues such as Aids in Africa.

Anarchy!

The Da Vinci Cannes Festival

I'm so over the "OVER-promotion" of big movies. We went through hell already with Sharon Stone and more recently Tom Cruise. Okay, so The Da Vinci Code opens in Cannes tomorrow, and then in the US on the 19th, so here is Tom Hanks with Audrey Tautou and now let's get over it.

I'm looking forward to the slew of photos I'm going to get from the rest of the festival. There are so many photographers there, we are sure to get lots of chicks, slips, and see-throughs.

Model DOESN'T Want To Be On Maxim Cover

Czech model Veronica Varekova says the upcoming issue of Maxim magazine unlawfully uses a photograph of her scantily clad on its cover. "They put me on the cover without my permission," the model told The Associated Press today. "They have no right to do it."

You know, she didn't want to be on Useless Things either, but that didn't stop me. Actually I understand her side completely, I mean, why would any hot model want to be on the cover of a Magazine who thinks Eva Longoria is the hottest chick for 2 years straight? That's offensive when you're a hot model, she's not an ugly Eva!

“I’m sure many men will say, ‘what is she talking about,’ but I don’t like (Maxim), personally,” she says. “I don’t want to trash it, but I don’t want to be a part of it either.”

“I think it’s a question of choice,” she says. “This is my business, this is what I do.”

She's right! Veronica Varekova is standing up for her image! Awesome! I love models.


Article here.

Isaac Mizrahi's New Collection

Boy, there's nothing out there today, so I'm posting fashion.

I was going to save these for the Skinny Model Post of this week, but eh, what the hell, let's promote Isaac Mizrahi. I think he's a true American original. These pics are from his mini runway show in New York yesterday.






Read about this show here.
Buy his Target line there.
Watch his TV show here.
And if you haven't seen his movie, then go do that too.

Tuesday Afternoon Licks

Bravest little kitty in the world. = Bag of Nothing
Kirsten Dunst has hairy legs. = The Bastardly
Colin Farrell and the lost world. = fourfour
Mischa and Nicole at the market. = Dlisted
Mandy Moore calls out Wilmer. = Egotastic
Tom and Katie and the baby. = Socialites Life

Mischa, Please DUMP This Guy Already

Cicso Alder says his band Whitestarr's first single "Sunshine Girl" is NOT about his current girlfriend Mischa Barton, but rather about his ex-girlfriend Kimberly Stewart (Rod's daughter). He goes on to say, "Most of the record is. Every girl I've ever been with has probably made it into a song. My vice has always been women. That's what causes the drama in my life."

Well, Isn't that just genius? Hey Cisco, newsflash, you're not the only musician who feels strongly about women. Not only is the album mainly about his ex-girlfriend, but he says he doesn't have any plans to write anything about Mischa any time soon, "When you're really happy, you're too busy being happy to write about it. (Right now) I'm happy and Mischa's great."

DUMP THIS IDIOT NOW MISCHA!

I'll write a song about you! Hell, It'll probably be just as good if not better than Cisco's would be, if he even cared enough to write one about you!

And now, since I'm totally obsessed and manic with Mischa Barton, more pictures:




UPDATE: I finished the song I wrote about Mischa Barton! Yup, I even produced it, recorded it, and mastered it. Here it is:

(Relax, neither her NOR Nicole will ever figure it out)

Katherine Heigl Coinslot Slip

Ever since the Lindsay Lohan SNL skit about the coinslot cream, I've been waiting for a coinslot slip picture, and here it is! It's Katherine Heigl from Grey's Anatomy bending over just a bit too much.

Baby Ginger Spice Born

Geri Halliwell has given birth to a baby girl, Sunday, May 14, 2006 at London's Portland Hospital, according to a report Monday in the Sun newspaper. I wrote about her stupid baby shower hosted by George Michael.

I guess this is the Useless follow-up. Does anyone even care about Ginger Spice anymore? Well, this would be the site to read about something like that.

Congrats.

Naomi Watts Cares

Actress Naomi Watts was named special representative for U.N. program on HIV/AIDS today.

I know I have made fun of every single celebrity who dons serious clothes and tries to get involved in "real issues" but Naomi Watts gets a pass from me. I will not make fun of her for the simple fact that she is gorgeous, talented, and I love her.

Check out her hot see-through pics at Egotastic. Wow. They don't even need my Photoshop X-Ray effect, it's already there!

Another Generic Model In Trouble

Oh boy, I just love it when I read about how stupid models are. It really brings a tear to my eye, it's so beautiful. However dumb of a move they make, somehow it doesn't seem to matter. The bottom line is, they're pretty, and we forgive them.

Swedish model Marzena Kamizela appears in a Happy Valley-Goose Bay, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada courtroom today. The 32-year-old Swedish beauty, who has worked for Versace and Bacardi drink company Martini, spent the weekend in a Labrador jail, charged with assault after an incident on a British Airways flight.

Wait a mintute, didn't this exact same thing happen to May Andersen last month? It's MIND BOGGLING how unoriginal they seem to be. Here's the full story.

I'd like to aplaud the airline security personnel in each of these dumb model incidents. Hey, you never know, Al-Qaeda's next move might actually be hiring and training bitchy models into suicide missions.

Maxim Boasts Eva Longoria As Hot. Again.

Do we really need another Jennifer Lopez that bad? What is with Maxim magazine? They seemed to be obsessed with Eva Longoria! Guys, put down the K-Y already, she's not that good looking. Actually, I'd consider her average, at best, yet the desperate housewife repeated as the "numero uno" of the Hot 100 this year.

Whats with the editors of this magazine? Are they all on crack? Did Eva visit the newsroom and personally blow all of the editors? This is the only explanation I can think of for this constant, inexplicable praise she gets from them.

Useless Things' previous Eva Longoria posts:

Eva Longoria is a Spice Girl.
Eva Longoria is seen from space.
Eva Longoria has chicken legs.
...and my favorite, Eva Longoria is nasty and tacky.

Monday Links!!!

Christina Aguilera is naked on GQ. = Egotastic!
Is Teri Hatcher drunk? = Cityrag
Meg Ryan is a crazy cat lady. = The Superficial
Fergie in the bathroom. = TPWLTH
Pete Doherty in drag. = Dlisted
Kelly Osbourne tries too hard. = The Bastardly
Britney Spears' mystery man. = Derek Hail

Lindsay Lohan Is Fat (Standing Next To Nicole Richie)

The 13th Annual Race to Erase M.S. event kicked off on Friday at the Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles. The event featured fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger's '70s-themed designs with Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie walking out together in the show.

Wow. That's all I have to say. I've added a cropped version that shows Lohan and Richie's legs next to each other. I never want to hear that Lindsay Lohan is too skinny, ever again. Nicole Richie is too skinny. Lohan is fine.

Steven Spielberg Plays Nintendo

Steven Spielberg played Nintendo Wii with Shigeru Miyamoto, the legendary video game designer known as the Spielberg of video games, having created Mario and the Legend of Zelda at the E3 Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles on Friday.

They played the tennis game with those weird remote control thingys. Wondering who won? I couldn't find a story that cared either way. But Useless Things cares. I mean, this is like that scene in Forrest Gump when he plays communist China in the ping-pong tournament. We need to know who the REAL Spielberg is!

Paris Hilton Makes Out With Bugs Bunny

Paris Hilton kisses the cartoon character Bugs Bunny as she arrives at a birthday party for Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild franchise, at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California.

Cartoons are promoting essentially a pornagrapher's birthday bash at a family theme park? Am I going nuts? Does that not sound strange to anyone else? It was almost a nip slip too! Damn, that would have been perfect!

In other news, Mel Blanc is rolling around in his grave, as we speak.

Thank You Egotastic!

I usually don't post on Fridays or Saturdays, but I felt I needed to take advantage of the extra hits I'm getting thanks in LARGE part to Egotastic!

I just want to show my true appreciation to them.

You guys rock!

Mr. Useless

Linkin' Park

Nancy Sinatra gets a star. = POPBYTES
Scarlett Johansson is flying. = The Bastardly
Jake Gyllenhaal gives to the needy. = Hollywood Rag
Jordan looks good. = Dlisted
The O.C. graduation. = Just Jared
Jessica's huge earings. = PopSugar
Blonde Supermodel's are smart. = The Superficial

Jenny McCarthy Plays XBox With Strangers

Jenny McCarthy games with fans as part of the latest XBOX Live "Game With Fame" session during the opening day of the E3 convention in Los Angeles on Wednesday.
McCarthy is the first of several celebrities who will be playing XBOX Live during the three-day Electronic Entertainment Expo.

Does she always to that with her mouth? From the looks of it, she's getting her ass kicked in whatever game she's playing.

Matt Damon Picks Cotton

Matt Damon in a field in Chongwe, Zambia, speaking with an organic cotton farmer. Damon returned April 29th from a six-day trip to Africa with a passion for fighting AIDS and praise for President Bush's relief program.

Nice to see the Good Will Hunting boys in the public eye with important issues like this.

Damon's still got Affleck's number in movies, though. Or does he? I'm going to setup and match soon. Thats sounds like an interesting idea.

...And Today Kelly Clarkson Is A Midget

I hate to be mean, but when I see these pictures, I know I have to post them. If I don't, someone else will. In her defense, it's the photographer who killed her in this picture. The extreme wide angle doesn't help one bit.

Hey, Hollywood execs, I smell Home Alone 4.

Monica Bellucci Wears Dior Rouge

I'm a sucker for all of this uppity fashion crap. It's the perfect Useless Things post. No real story. No real purpose. Just a few Hi-Rez pics, and a shameless promotion of a product.

Italian actress Monica Bellucci, the new muse for the Dior's lipstick Rouge Dior, appears during a presentation to launch the beauty product by the French fashion house in Paris. I think she is one beautiful woman.

Gotta Love Warhol. Gotta Love It.

I'm an art fag. You can take the fag outta the art, but you can't take the art outta the fag. Or wait a minute, that didn't sound right. Whatever.

The 1962 painting "Small Torn Campbell's Soup Can (Pepper Pot)," by Andy Warhol sold today for $11.7 million at Christies. If I had an extra 12 million, I would have bought it too.

Links, Baby, Links...

Lindsay Lohan at the Just My Luck premiere. = The Superficial
Jude Law and Sienna reunited? = A Socialite's Life
Vince and Jen. = POPSUGAR
An unflattering piture of Britney Spears. = People We Love To Hate
Denise Richard's scary ass sister. = Dlisted
Jessica Alba's boring MTV photos. = The Bastardly
Britney's baby announcement video. = DerekHail

Kelly Clarkson Is A Man, Baby, Yeah!!

Wow, could these pictures be any less feminine?

Kelly Clarkson punches the air before going on a flight with the Blue Angels, the U.S. Navy's flight demonstration team today at the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth, Texas. Pictured in the background is Sgt. Deo Harrypersaud.



Oops! this one just came in. Can anyone say Michael Dukakis tank picture?

Lydia Hearst Still Uncontroversial

I'm making it a point to publish any picture of Lydia Hearst I can find. So, that being said, here she is with model Petra Nemcova, center, and actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler at the Candies Foundation Annual Gala in New York.

She's so cute.

Nick Lachey Is A Cool Dude

I never thought I'd be defending anyone from the group 98 Degrees, but here I am, doing just that.

Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica proved to everyone that this guy is the geniune article. A down to earth guy who was dealing with crazy ass people, and being a true sport. Hats off to Nick Lachey.

Here are his TRL pics from today, his album What's Left Of Me hit stores today, go get it.

Supermodels And Their Wings

Supermodels Karolina Kurkova, Gisele Bundchen and Adriana Lima model self-designed angel wings at a promotional event at Victoria's Secret today in New York. The wings, crafted by Martin Izquierdo, will be auctioned off with proceeds going to a New York-area charity for at-risk youth.

Yeah, cause that's excactly what everyone wants, a pair of old shaggy wings. Dude, we want the chicks! Forget the wings! Hey, and what's up with Gisele, why doesn't she have any wings on? Must be a clause in her contract. Uh, Gisele doesn't "wear" wings, Gisele is Gisele. I can imagine that's how it went.

Britney Announces What We Already Knew

Pop singer Britney Spears shares a laugh with host David Letterman on the set of The Late Show with David Letterman today in New York. Spears announced on the show that she and husband Kevin Federline are expecting their second child.

Oh, like we didn't know. I think Spears just likes being fat.

Some Links....

Jordan and her Hubby have cleavage issues. = Socialite's Life
Kimora Lee tries to win back Russell. = PopSugar
Hulk Hogan's daughter is not toned. = People We Love To Hate
Ashlee Simpson's new nose job. = I Don't Like You in That Way
Nicole Richie on a rollercoaster. = Just Jared
JLo is going grey. = Dlisted
Paris Hilton and minorities. = The Bastardly
Scarlett Johansson has refuses to strip. = DerekHail

Nintendo Revolutionizes The Remote Control

As if we weren't lazy enough, the new Nintendo Wii system doesn't have a controller, apparently. It uses this weird remote control device that senses when you move it in your hand. Pretty cool.

Yeah, you know, cause the whole "pushing a button" thing was really hard for me for so many years. Now I can just wave this thing around and it knows what I want to do, automatically.

Ginger Spice Is Fat

Geri Halliwell arrives with her dog at George Michael's Highgate home, in London, for a baby shower organized by George and his boyfriend Kenny Goss.

What that dog smelling up there?

Eh, why not? Lets put the George Michael pic up too.

Starbucks Is Annoying

Has anyone been to Starbucks recently? Did you notice the Akeelah And The Bee theme that was going on? I did. At first I thought it was just the brainy brooding hipster Starbucks employee who wrote it on the chalkboard because he/she is just cool like that. You know? The Scrable aficionado who was bored at work one day and wanted to express his coolness with writing up the title of the cool new movie about a spelling bee, that only he/she knew about.

Oh, no. How wrong was I.

The marketing campaign is the brainschild of Starbucks Corp. who is getting into the movie promotion business by slyly putting up the title of the movie practically everywhere you turn in the shop. Sure, it's smart, but actually, it's kind of annoying too. Hey, I came here because I wanted a Cafe-Latte, not to be beaten over then head with you movie title everywhere!

Useless Things: The Redesign, Uh, Well, Sort Of....

I know Useless Things isn't the most uniquely designed blog out there. Actually, it still uses one of the common templates at blogger.com. I do believe however that our resources are good, our pictures are high quality, and we update daily just as often as any "major" blog out there. I'd like to thank all the people that have bookmarked us, regardless of our design.

So, to change it a bit I made a new banner, but it's really the same crap. Actually, the designer of this template, Todd Dominey, is very talented, and seems like a good guy. Why mess up his template? I'll just expand on it by massacring his initial concept with my lack of HTML knowledge. I t's like a happy accident.

Why not?

Jennifer Garner Is Way Too Emotional

I shouldn't be a jerk here, because after all Jennifer and Reese gave their time to watch a performance by children during a visit to a school in New Orleans today. And they met with families who are adjusting to life after the destructive Hurricane Katrina. But during the kid's play she started balling out, while Reese seemed to keep her cool. It's actually kind of sweet, but still funny, in a way. I like Jennifer Garner, she's a real talent, and 13 Going on 30 was awesome!

Lindsay Lohan TRL Uselessly Huge Post

I already put up a list of her tidbits, now just look at the onslaught of photos I just found from her TRL visit, just hours ago. Check her out, poppin' a squat! She looks great, I can't talk crap. Useless Things is in a Lindsay Lohan forcefield, I only have good things to say.

I guess I should link the 2 movies she was trying to promote. Here: Just My Luck, and Home Prairie Companion.

New Luc Besson Movie

Is it me, or do you get the feeling Luc Besson sleeps with all the actresses in his movies? I don't know why I get that feeling, I mean, he did go out with Milla Jovovich for a while, and he put her in almost every movie he did. Now, I look at these pictures of him and Rie Rasmussen at a photocall in Japan for their new movie Angel-A and I just see guilt in his eyes. A little too friendly, that's all. Just speculation. Come on, he does look like a sick little puppy, and she's totally hot.

Da Vinci Code Secret Message?

The Concorde subway station in Paris, France is decorated with images of the Da Vinci Code all over it, but look closer, see anything unusual?
I saw this picture in the wire services today, and thought it was kind of funny. The placement of the garbage can had to have been done on purpose. Is this foreshadowing where the movie will go after it comes out on May 19th?

Jamie Pressley Is A Laid Back Chick

Jaime Pressly was on hand to announce the Crown Royal "Your Name Here" promotion along with Jamie McMurray, driver of the #26 Crown Royal Ford car.

Doesn't this chick look completely at home in all of this redneck NASCAR racing garage mess? I'm telling you she's a cool chick, and My Name Is Earl is one of the funniest shows on TV. Props!

Eva Longoria And The Latin Spice Girls

It seems Eva Longoria was the missing link to finally producing the tackiest group ever, The Latin Spice Girls.

No, we're not that unfortunate. She along with Carmen Electra, Rosalyn Sanchez, and Constance Marie were just on hand at the ALMA awards to help Paulina Rubio in her opening number. They were just back up dancers, they didn't sing. But it's a great picture for each of these girls to look at and thank God they all have good agents, or else they WOULD be the Latin Spice Girls.

Rapper's: Please Stop Shooting Yourselves

I just downloaded a new rap song by T.I. that I got into, and then I read this:

Atlanta rapper T.I., whose real name is Clifford Harris, left, embraces a mourner during funeral services for his personal assistant Philant Anthony Johnson at the Jackson Memorial Baptist Church in Atlanta today. Johnson was killed in a gunfight in Cincinnati early Wednesday morning May 3.

What's up with this!? Is there a rapper out there who isn't connected to a homocide? Last month it was Proof, and now it's T.I.'s assistant. Let's end this thing, guys.

Marilyn Monroe Makes Baseball History

A ball signed in 1961 by Yankee Hall of Famer player Joe DiMaggio and his wife Marilyn Monroe was sold at Heritage Auction Galleries for a record $191,200. That's the highest ever paid for an autographed baseball according to the auctioneer.

Timely story, as I believe Barry Bonds just moved within 1 homerun behind Babe Ruth's record some minutes ago.

Ashlee Isn't Getting Married

At least not anytime soon. She says in an interview with "Teen People" that she has watched her newly single sister "go through a really hard time" and that tying the knot "is definitely not on my mind."

Ashlee Simpson is smarter than her older sister, I guess. That doesn't excuse that she used to like this guy.

Bruno Interviews Jonathan Antin

Here is an old interview by Ali G's fashion reporter character, Bruno. It was filmed way before Blow Out, and it's just hilarious.

Wyclef/Shakira Are Not Original

Dominican composer Luis Dias is complaining about Colombian singer Shakira's use of a refrain from his original song "Baila En La Calle" after she supposedly used it without asking for authorization on her song "Hips Don't Lie."

I hope they get sued sooooo bad!

If you remember the Shakira/Wyclef song post about a month ago, I think it's the worst song of the year, possibly the decade. You KNOW a song is a stinker when someone is ashamed that even a part of his lyrics are being slaughtered in it.

Why can't people be original anymore? Did we erase "originality" from the dictionary? Let me check, uh, Merriam Webster search...... Nope, still there!

Michelle Rodriguez Gets A Red Ex

Last month I posted a picture of Wilmer Valderrama with a big red letter ex over it. It was quite a liberating experience, and it felt good doing that. So, longing to feel that way again, I've decided to give out another red ex.

This time I give it to this horrible actress named Michelle Rodriguez, who not only plays idiot people on the screen, she actually is one in real life.Uh, this time around I decided to go with the Lucida Fax Bold typeface. It gave the ex the perfect size to show her buck teeth yet conceal the ugliness of her face. The serifs show the blockiness of the font, like the blockiness of her body in general. It works.

I'll do the "Red Ex" post once a month, because I'm actually very nice to celebs on here, but when I feel they are being spoiled and setting a bad example for young people, then, they get an ex.

Skinny People Make The World Go Around

Not too many fashion shows going on this week. Actually there are, but for some reason all the models seem to be, uh, dare I say it? Fat.

So, here's a left over pic from Australia Fashion Week for you to look at and then slit your wrists, because you will never ever be as thin as this woman in the middle.(Michael Azzollini Swimwear Australia)

Okay, and since I don't have any more skinny models, and since it was Mission Impossible 3 day, here is our new favorite anorexic, Michelle Monoghan:



Dude, this chick is Nicole Richie thin, dude! Trust me, I'm an expert! She's trying to hide it. Check her out with Tom Cruise's head on her shoulders!

Blow Out Ends; Jonathan Still Rocks

I finally got to watching the season finale of Blow Out. I hope they go for a 4rth season. Check out that website, it's really good, and has lots of videos of Jonathan.

Oh, the 3 Jonathan Antinisms I discovered this week:

1. "Watch yourself brother. Take caution in how you address me right now, my friend."

2. "I know everything there is to know about hair. Everything."

3. "You know how people say 'you're not what you do?' Well I am what I do. I'm hair. Man."



You just GOTTA love this guy! What a baddass.

50 Cent's Iraq Movie

Irwin Winkler, right, director of the film Home of the Brave discusses a scene with Curtis James Jackson III, also known as 50 Cent, on the set in Spokane, Washington. Jackson plays a troubled veteran having difficulty readjusting to civilian life.

And here is the director again, this time with actor Samuel L. Jackson as they film the movie last March in Morocco.

Tom Cruise Is Saturating The Media

I showed a couple of these screen grabs when Sharon Stone was promoting Basic Instict 2, and I thought that was bad. That was nothing.

Look what happens to my picture server when I search for the word "cruise."

Hmm, well I get 73 hits. 4 pictures are from a story about "Derby Cruising" which is an annual festival in Kentucky where car enthusiasts cruise the streets. And then, let's see, that leaves 69 pictures of Tom Cruise to promote the MI3 picture! Well thats just what we need, 69 pictures of Tom Cruise scattered all through all the world, and that's just today!

Baldwin Vs. Cruise?

Stephen Baldwin showed up to the HUGE premiere for Mission Impossible 3 today with a "Jesus" hat on. Ouch, is that a slap in the face to Mr. Scientology himself?

He better be careful, look who Tom is hanging with: Mr. De Niro. That's Jimmy Conway, son! Stephen Baldwin will get his legs broken if he disrespects Tom's religion on Tom Cruise day.

Larry David Gives Away His Prius

Larry David and his wife Laurie David surprised a UCLA class as MTVU "Stand-In" professors. Then Larry presented student Erick Tarula with his very own Toyota Prius. Tarula was the winner of the "Curb Global Warming" sweepstakes.

Nice! I love Larry David. He is my hero. Just looking at these pictures makes me want to re-watch every episode of every season of Curb on DVD. It's the best show ever.

Mischa's Got It: Milk.

The ad copy reads:

Take 9. On the set theyre screaming action all day. And thanks to the 9 essential nutrients in milk, I've always got what it takes to nail it.

Mischa you can do whatever you want. You're a little princess.

Boogie Nights: Greatest Movie Of All Time

Okay, Okay, I did say the greatest movie of all time was Casino. And then I said it was The Karate Kid, but now I'm serious, I think Boogie Nights by Paul Thomas Anderson is the greatest movie of all time. If you have not seen this movie, then you need to go rent it, like, right now! Just stop reading this, and queue it up on your Netflix, or if you're still stuck in the 90's go to the Blockbuster near you and rent it! Actually, forget it, just buy it, you need it.

Some of my favorite scenes:
The pool party scene. Great music by War with "Spill The Wine" and great 70's dialogue. Becky tells Don Cheadle's character,"You need a new look!"


Great first scene between Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly. Nothing is said of any importance, but the feel of the movie is established. The momentum. Star Wars, bench pressing, and margaritas.


Great underwater shots. Canonballs and hot chicks in bikinis. So 70's it hurts.


But wait, this is not just a 70's disco movie, there might be some real acting going on here. A coked up Julianne Moore watches Mark Wahlberg take a dive to "Lonely Boy" by Andrew Gold.


"My wife has an ass in her cock in the drive way, all right? I'm sorry if my thoughts are not on the photography of the film we're shooting tomorrow!" Bill Macy's character is genius, as is his character in Magnolia.


The Party winds down, and Eddie Adam's tells Burt Reynolds about his dream persona, Dirk Diggler.


"Could you call me 'Dirk' from now on?" The transformation starts. Philip Seymour Hoffman and the pen in his mouth, so classic!


Burt looks on as Dirk does his first scene. He's not distracted when the mag runs out, and you get the feeling he's watching something bigger than anything he's ever done before. Classic line from Julianne Moore acting like a bad porno actress, "Let me just check something...That is a giant cock."


Let the good times roll! Enter the Pretty Woman-esque montage scene! Funny and poignant.


I thought this was a good grab. Dirk Diggler' peak.


The grainy 16mm scenes sliced into the movie were so funny. I remember laughing out loud in the theater.


Hoffman stole some major scenes as Scotty, the gay production assistant. "I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot... "


At the new years party 1979, Bill Macy calmly kills his wife, her lovers, and blows his brains out, the film stops in silence on this title card. Let the aftermath begin.....


Screen-grabbing an entire movie is hard. How could I have forgotten Rollergirl? "Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom?"


Alfred Molina is soooooooo good in the short time he's in this movie. Every time I hear Sister Christian , Jesses's Girl, or 99 luftballons, I think of THIS scene.


The long shot on Mark Wahlberg while all this crazy drug stuff is going on. The fact that there is no voice over to tell us what he is thinking made it even stronger. I believe this was his turning point.


The happy ending, sort of. With the best Beach Boys song ever. "God Only Knows."


Full circle. Back to square one. That is a huge dong. (It's fake)

Lindsay Lohan Tidbits

I don't believe half of the things I hear about this girl. It's like they make stuff up about who she's dating, who she fought with, who she slept with, and then a month later they'll have a post that says "Lindsay Lohan Laughs Off Rumors..." Yeah, which means it was all B.S.
ContactMusic.com is a pretty reputable source for Lohan news, so here is the latest from them:
1. Quote: "People are gonna be really kind of opinionated on it as everyone is with everything that goes on, but specifically this because Janis Joplin is such an icon and she really was empowering to women." - LINDSAY LOHAN on the possiblility of playing Janis Joplin.
2. Nick Lachey was told that Lindsay has had a crush on him, and in response Nick said, "I can safely say that I don't have any interest in Lindsay Lohan... nor do I understand anyone else that does."
3. Lindsay Lohan's uncle, Paul Sullivan, was arrested and pleaded guilty to stealing $646,900 from a fund meant for victims of the September 11th attacks. Ouch, this one is ugly.
4. Lohan is teaming up with Adrien Brody in a new romantic comedy Speechless.
5. Lohan broke her ankle at Kelly Osbourne's house.

You see? I just saved you guys from 5 Useless Lindsay Lohan posts, which would have had over 15 different High-Res pictures of her. I knocked it out with just 1 shot!

Edward Norton Has Movies Coming Out

This guy is one of my favorite actors. He's been in some classic movies that I love. Fight Club, American History X, Rounders, People Vs. Larry Flynt, and the list goes on.

Coming out the week is Down in the Valley, which also stars that great young actress from Thirteen, Rachel Evan Wood. And later this summer he plays a magician in The Illusionist.



UPDATE: View the Down in the Valley trailer here.

Superman Returns Is High Fashion

Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth were at the Kitson boutique in Beverly Hills today to unveil the Superman apparel, accessories, and fashion doll collection.

I hate to be the doom and gloom forecaster, but I'm not entirely convinced this movie is going to be any good. I'm going to see it anyway, but I'm just not convinced yet, I need to see the plot.




UPDATE: Watch the new trailer here.

Jewel's Album Comes Out Tomorrow

There are some really, really nice clean pictures of Jewel today on the wires that I just had to post. Her new album Goodbye Alice in Wonderland hits stores Tuesday, May 2nd. Here is a little story about it. The article has the same pics, but mine are higher rez, as always.

;-)




NOTICE: I can't believe I ended a post with a smiley face. See what Jewel does to grown men?

Coachella Pictures

My new girlfriend Karen O was there with her Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I really like their new album.



James Blunt. Two hit songs, eh, they're O.K., but he gets a pass from me because he put Mischa Barton on his video.



Dude, does the guy from Tool shave his chest or what? Whatever, I'm soooo over Tool, overated band, dude. And if I were to have said that out loud, I would have imitated it using Jonathan Antin's voice, just to piss off Tool fans.

Oh, and finally, not that it's a big deal or anything but MADONNA was there too. She should have just stayed at home. She's bigger than Coachella.

NOTICE: In case people haven't caught on to my sarcasm, Karen O is not really my girlfriend.

Alternate Dimension Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie

The 6th Annual Celebrity Impersonators Convention will be hitting Las Vegas later this month from the 28th to the 31st.

In these pics they look eerily similar to the real things!

Hey, maybe I can just track down the alternate dimension Paris Hilton, and make her fall in love with me. That way I can give up my lifelong quest to meet the real Paris Hilton and have her fall in love with me. I mean, It would be the same thing, right?

And what if a guy falls in love with alternate dimension Angelina Jolie, but hates the real Angelina Jolie as a fan? Can the relationship work?

Useless Things to think about....