Skinny Model Drawing And Nip-Slipping At The Same Time!

This model is too great. I don't know her name, but I have seen her before. (Need an ID, please!)

I love it how Skinny Models who can draw choose to draw.... other Skinny Models!! What else? That's the most important thing in the world, right? This chick is a genius.
She's artistic AND skinny, could this get any better? Yes, it can!
Nip Slip!!!!!!!!

I think I'm in love.

Orlando Bloom And Keira Knightley Are Blockheads Redux

I once posted on Keira and Orlando because I thought both of their heads looked block-like.So, I used photoshop to make them look a whole lot more blocky!

Victoria's Secret Models

Fashion models Karolina Kurkova, Alessandra Ambrosio, Selita Ebanks, and Izabel Goulart, pose at the Victoria's Secret store at Herald Square to promote a new line of Secret Embrace bras Wednesday in New York.



Why don't they use Jeisa at these events? She is so much hotter than all of these girls.

They use Jeisa on their runway shows, they need to step up and start using her to promote at their events.

She is CLEARLY more beautiful than the other models they use.

Check out Jeisa-chiminazzo.com.

Useless Things Truth Table: IF Your Name ≠ Gemma Ward, THEN You Are Ugly. TRUE.

That's right. Gemma Ward is pretty, you are not. Check her out at the screening of Factory Girl, and then at some other event.

Today Is "Model Day" At Useless Things

I just don't want to deal with any other type of celebrity today, except for models. This is just my way of dealing with my model obsession psychosis. First on the day is Cintia Dicker. This is an old series of photos of her from Teen Vogue.

I think if Cintia asked me to chop one of my fingers off, I would. I don't really need that pinky, anyway.

Did you know that natural Redheads are expected to be extinct by the year 2100?

See, that's just how special Cintia Dicker is.

The Eames Storage Unit In SketchUp

Last week I posted about how cool Google's 3D software SketchUp was. Well, here is my finished version of one of my favorite pieces of furniture, the Eames Storage Unit.Here's a picture of it in real life. How did I do?

Heath Ledger And Josh Hartnett Are Never In The Same Picture

That is, until now. Ha!
You ever realize that actors (and actresses) of the same type, build, and general look are never in the same movie together? Nor do their publicists like them to be photographed together?

Josh Hartnett can be seen here with Heath Ledger at the 2007 Spirit Awards.

It looks weird to me. Like it doesn't belong.

Hugh Grant On A Huge Piano

I just thought this was kinda strange, and out of no where.British actor Hugh Grant poses for the photographers prior to the German premiere of the movie "Music and Lyrics" in Berlin, Germany today.

Dicaprio Videotapes Himself

I always post when celebs take their own pictures. Leo takes his own picture here.


I found these of Leonardo Dicaprio taking his own video during the Oscar rehearsals.

Mischa Barton's Sexy Skinny Back

How's this for Mischa Barton Thinsporation?

Bee-YOU-tee-Ful.

My Oscar Predictions Sucked

Best Picture= Little Miss Sunshine. WRONG. The Departed won.

Best Director= Martin Scorsese, The Departed. RIGHT.

Best Actor= Leonardo Dicaprio, Blood Diamond. (because of his work on the Aviator) WRONG. Forrest Whitaker won.

Best Actress= Helen Mirren, The Queen. RIGHT.

Best Supporting Actor= Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls. WRONG. Alan Arkin won.

Best Supporting Actress= Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine. WRONG. Jennifer Hudson won.

The Departed!

The Departed has just won Best Picture!

Martin Scorsese Finally Wins An Oscar!

FINALLY!

Forrest Whitaker Wins Best Actor!

Forrest Whitaker just won for Best Actor!

Congratulations!

Big Surprise! Helen Mirren Wins Best Actress!

And, of course. Helen Mirren just won the award for Best Actress at the Oscars.

Geez, the excitement is killing me. No one saw this coming, right?

Whatever.

She's still hot for an old lady.

Mark Wahlberg's Girlfriend Is Hot

I told you my Live Blogging of the Oscars was going to be Useless.

Her name is Rhea Durham, and yes, she's a model.

Eva Green Drives Me Crazy

I don't even think she looked all that great at tonight's ceremony. Didn't like the dress too much. So I won't post more pics.She's amazing , though. I find her to be one of the most beautiful people in the world.

George Clooney Is Kinda Dorky

George Clooney backstage at the 79th Academy Awards.

For the most "debonaire" man in Hollywood he sure gets a dopey look on his face while laughing.

He also looked really skinny to me. But, thats a good thing.

Al Gore's Film Wins An Oscar!

The Al Gore documentary, An Inconvinient Truth, just won for best Documentary. Although Davis Guggenheim, the producer of the film, is the person who actually wins the award, Al Gore came up to the stage along with the team of filmakers.

Guggenheim lent Gore the award to give his "thankyou" speech.

Speven Spielberg Takes Ellen's Myspace Picture!

Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres checks out a photo that producer Steven Spielberg, right, took of her and director Clint Eastwood during a funny moment at the Oscars tonight.
This was really fun. Ellen said she wanted a picture of her and Clint for Myspace! Then, after Spielberg took the picture, Ellen handed him back the camera and asked him to get them "both in the picture." What a prankster!

It's Spielberg!

I think, she should sell the picture, or the disk on Ebay for charity. Hey, it's a Steven Spielberg original!

Jennifer Hudson Wins Best Supporting Actress!

Jennifer Hudson won for Best Supporting Actress! For Dreamgirls!

Congratulations!

UPDATE FOR PICTURES:

Ellen's Oscar Caddy

Ellen shows off her little Oscar backpack thingy. I wonder though... eventually... is someone going to win that Oscar statuette she's using for the skit?

Anne Hathaway At the Oscars

I don't want to leave out Anne Hathaway, who along with Emily Blunt had an amusing little skit where they pretended to be their characters from The Devil Wears Prada, and assured Meryl Streep (sitting in the crowd) that they would get her coffee right away.


Anne is so naturally beautiful. She really does look like a princess. Snow White, for that matter.


UPDATE FOR PICTURE:
This was after that same skit, when they presented Milena Canonero the Oscar for costume design for her work on "Marie Antoinette."

Happy Feet Walks All Over Cars

Actress Cameron Diaz stands with George Miller as he poses with the Oscar for best animated feature film for "Happy Feet" at the 79th Academy Awards Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007, in Los Angeles.

I'm glad someone put Pixar in their place, with their stupid gimmicks.

Leonardo Dicaprio And Al Gore Share A Laugh

Former Vice President Al Gore, left, and Leonardo DiCaprio walk off stage during the 79th Academy Awards at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007.

This was right after the Al Gore joke candidacy moment.

Nicole And Naomi Make Such A Cute Couple

Actresses Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts arrive for the 79th Academy Awards Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007, in Los Angeles. Kidman will be a presenter during the Oscars telecast.


Damn, they make a hot lesbian couple. I swear. If only it were true. I think there's a movie here. They're best friends, but they're never in the same movie together! Come on, Hollywood! This is a no-brainer.

Al Gore Jokingly Announces Candidacy During Oscars; Orchestra Plays Over Him

Al Gore is pretty frickin' hilarious. As he and Leonardo Dicaprio talked about Global Warming, or whatever, Leo asks him if their was any other important announcements he would like to make.

Then (playing it straight) Al reaches over to his breast pocket, pulls out a letter, and as he starts reading his bid for candidacy, right as the orchestra plays over him!

Just as when Oscar winners take way too long to make their speeches.

Alan Arkin Wins Best Supporting Actor!

Alan Arkin Just won for Little Miss Sunshine!!!!! Best Supporting Actor!

Congratulations!

UPDATE FOR PICTURES:


Wow! Will this be the first in a string of surprises this Oscar night? Seriously, Arkin was the last person on my mind!

I'm happy he won though, it was a great role, in a great little film.

Sacha And Isla At The Oscar Ret Carpet

Sasha Baron Cohen and actress Isla Fisher attend the 79th Annual Academy Awards held at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, California.

Apperently I was recieved a bum tip. The Academy did NOT want Sacha to perform as Borat during the Academy Awards. He wanted to present as Borat, but they didn't let him.

Wow! His girl, Isla Fisher ALMOST gave us our first Oscar Nip Slip! That dress is cut short at the bust!

Liveblogging the Oscars...

Is it called Live-blogging or Liveblogging? I don't know. But I'm doing it.The Oscar statues are placed backstage during the 79th Academy Awards at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles tonight.

Cate Blanchet Shines

Australian actress Cate Blanchett, nominated for an Oscar for best actress in a supporting role for her work in "Notes on a Scandal," shines at the beginning of the 79th Academy Awards Sunday in Los Angeles.


I love this woman. She can do no wrong. She's so damn intriguing. Fascinating.

Emily Blunt Looks Gorgeous At Oscars

Actress Emily Blunt arrives with Michael Buble for the 79th Academy Awards Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007, in Los Angeles. Blunt will be a presenter during the Oscars telecast.


She's hot.

Ellen's Opening Monologue

Ellen wasn't terribly funny, but she was O.K. The best joke was a crack at Jennifer Hudson not getting America to vote for her to win American Idol, while Al Gore actually got the votes, but didn't win (in 2000, obviously). That joke got the most applause.

The rest kind of sucked. Cracks at Abigail Breslin, and Peter O'toole. She mentioned Leo DiCaprio, but not to make a joke, just because she thought the ladies would like to look at him for a while.


Her Suit was kinda cool. Looks like something I'd wear, though.

I Have A Hunch About Abigail Breslin....

Abigail Breslin, nominated for an Oscar for best actress in a supporting role for her work in "Little Miss Sunshine," arrives for the 79th Academy Awards Sunday in Los Angeles.

I don't know...... I don't think Jennifer Hudson is going to take it. I think they're going to give it to the little girl.

Mainly because people are sick of Dakota Fanning already, and they need to christen a new trademark little girl actress.

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Stunning

Gwyneth Paltrow always ends up surprising me when she shows up to these things. Two kids later, and she's still looking really good. Chris Martin is a lucky bastard.


She could still lose a little weight, but thats just me being picky.

On the red carpet as she arrives for the 79th Academy Awards today in Los Angeles.

Cameron Diaz At The Oscars

What the hell is she in that's nominated this year? Oh, she's just a presenter.


She's looking good, actually. I'm into her. Even though the top of her dress looks like a half-opened letter envelope.

Is Anyone Else Sick Of Pixar, Already?

So stupid, these smart-ass Pixar animators. Okay, Okay, we get it, you guys are all creative geniuses, big deal.
John Lasseter wears a tie in the shape of a road, with Mater and Lightning McQueen driving on it. These stupid little gimmicks they come out with at the Oscars are so contrived. They try to be cute, and shamelessly promote their own product at the same time. I'm calling them out.

Oh, and did anyone else notice that Cars had the exact same plot as Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby?

Screw these people. I hope Monster House wins.

Helen Mirren Is Kinda Hot...

...well you know, for a 61 year old lady. British actress Helen Mirren, nominated for an Oscar for best actress in a leading role for her work in "The Queen," arrives for the 79th Academy Awards Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007, in Los Angeles.

Rinko Kikuchi Nip Sli-Uh... False Alarm

Japanese actress Rinko Kikuchi, nominated for an Oscar for best actress in a supporting role for her work in "Babel," fixes her dress on the red carpet.

Can't we get an Oscar nip slip tonight? Huh?

Who Wears Old, Dirty, Nasty Doc Marten's To The Oscars?

This idiot, that's who. God, I despise this guy, Gael Garcia-Bernal. So overrated, as anything, an actor, a model, the guy in the stupid Levi's commercial. Everything he does. He really sucks. Donkey balls.

The Oscars are a BLACK TIE event, especially for those in one of the pictures nominated for Best Picture. You wear black, shiny shoes, or at least clean black shoes. Not shoes you would wear to a fucking Alice & Chains concert. Loser.
It looks like he was outside on his driveway today, working on the engine of his car when he realized, "Oh Shit, I have to put on my suit, I'm in Babel! Got to go to the Oscars!"

Forgot to change your shoes, dork.

Oscar Live Blogging...

Okay, people. I'm here. Ready to live blog the Oscars with a bunch of Useless Things for you to enjoy your boredom a bit more.

I'm guessing there will be some surprises in the acting categories this year, since everyone thinks they know the winners already. The real hard guess is Best Picture this year, but I have a feeling it's going to be the That Yellow Bus Movie.

Here are my cockamamy predictions.

Let the show begin!

...and let the nipple's start slipping! We need something!

Every Girl Should Be Jealous Of Mischa Barton

It's unbelievable. This girl NEVER looks bad. These shots were taken of the beauty while she was forced to walk 2 blocks from a comedy club to where her dumb-ass friends parked the car. Total street shots, nasty and dirty, yet this woman looks like an angel coming out of the clouds.



Unbelievable.

VIDEO of her unneccesarily extended walk HERE.

Foreign Language Nominees Steal Huge Oscar Statue

Directors of four of the five Oscar-nominated best foreign language films pose with an Oscar statue outside the Kodak Theatre today in Los Angeles. From left are Guillermo del Toro, from the film "Pan's Labyrinth" from Mexico, Deepa Metha from the film "Water" from Canada; Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, from the film "The Lives of Others" from Germany, and Susanne Bier, from the film "After the Wedding" from Denmark.

I guess they figured none of them were gonna win in any important categories, so screw that little Oscar and let's take something home worth a damn!

Could you imagine one of these huge Oscar statuettes in your living room? Awesome!

Will Borat Show Up To The Oscars?

A little birdie told me Borat may make an appearance at The Academy Awards on Sunday. Actor, Sacha Baron Cohen is nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, and is expected to show. But as far as a surprise skit from Borat, we'll have to wait and see!I hope he does!

Carolina Tejera And Her Breasts

Since these "Premio Lo Nuestro" awards suck so bad, I'll save you the pics, and just show you this unkown Venezuelan actress/trophy wife.
Carolina Tejera poses on the red carpet at Premio Lo Nuestro Latin music awards tonight in Miami.

These awards suck big donkey balls. The only big celebs who showed up were Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. And to many people they're not that big a deal anymore.
I'll say this about Carolina, except for her obviously fake breasts, she's a really skinny girl.

Download Google SketchUp!

Google has developed a 3d rendering software to go with their whole Google Earth thingy. It's really neat! It's really simple to use, and a lot of fun. The idea is to design a three dimensional model of your house which you can upload and actually have it appear on Google Earth.

I just started learning it a couple of days ago, and I'm already mocking up some of my favorite furniture designs. Check out my work in progress of the Eames Storage Unit:
I'll post the finished version when I'm done.

Download it for Mac or PC Here: Google SketchUp!

A Model, Just The Way I Like 'Em...Caged.

Finally! PETA gets it right! Don't cage animals, cage models! Yay!

Australian model, Imogen Bailey sits in a cage in protest at the way battery hens are kept at Sydney's Circular Quay, Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007. The Human Battery Cage is a unique piece of installation/performance art designed to show the public the cramped conditions caged birds are subjected to for the production of eggs for human consumption.

Yeah, yeah, yeah....

The World's Ugliest Shoe: Crocs.

Don't wear crocs. They're not cool. They're ugly. Perez Hilton wears purple ones.

Oscar Night Preparations

Here's some random dude getting the red carpet ready for the Academy Awards on Sunday.

I work, so I will be live-blogging the Oscars just as I did last year.

Ok. Here are my predictions:

Best Picture= Little Miss Sunshine.

Best Director= Martin Scorsese, The Departed.

Best Actor= Leonardo Dicaprio, Blood Diamond. (because of his work on the Aviator)

Best Actress= Helen Mirren, The Queen.

Best Supporting Actor= Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls.

Best Supporting Actress= Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine.


Let's see how I do!

Just bought a Cadillac! THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH!

This godamn song has been stuck in my head for like 2 weeks now. God damn! So I need to post something on Rich Boy to get it out.Here he is at the Belvedere Lounge at The Joint in the Hard Rock Casino during NBA All-Star Weekend on February 16 in Las Vegas.
Apparently, Rich Boy leaves his shirt off, even when he's done performing. Hey why not? He's got the biggest single out right now, all the rapper groupies want him.


I was thinking... Maybe Rich Boy can get a deal with GM promoting Cadillacs? But then, agian, I don't think Cadillac wants to advertise that guys who sell crack buy their cars.

Rich Boy sellin' crack
Fuck niggas wanna jack
Shit tight no slack
Just bought a Cadillac (THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH!)
Just bought a Cadillac (THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH!)
Just bought a Cadillac

The Chick Who Will Play "Ariel" From The Little Mermaid

This is Sierra Boggess who will play Ariel in Disney's next big Broadway musical, "The Little Mermaid." The production opens in Denver on Aug. 23, 2007, after previews which begin July 26, 2007.


(I'm still here people. Just really tired. All this Britney stuff is so stupid. I need to take my brain to gossip re-hab.)

Scarlett Tries To Cover Herself Up

Actress Scarlett Johansson, Harvard University's Hasty Pudding Theatricals 2007 woman of the year, attempts to cover the nude Vanity Fair photograph she appeared in after it was brought on stage during the Pudding Pot presentation ceremony in Cambridge last thursday.

Sorry Scarlett, too late.

Handball Players Are Different

Handball player Pascal Hens during the 2007 Hamburger Sportgala at the Handel's Kammer on February 19, 2007 in Hamburg, Germany.

Now, that's a haircut! Forget about Britney. This guy has balls! That's an original style!

You know, haircuts are a dumb thing anyway. Why can't women shave their heads without it being such a huge deal? Why aren't people more creative with their hair in general?

Britney Spears' Wig

Okay, so now she dons a wig. Big deal.

I'm starting to agree with Drudge on this one. I don't think she's gone "CRAZY" anymore. This might be a way of getting back at her record label, or any other company that profits off of her image. Kind of like how Prince changed his name to that symbol, and wrote "SLAVE" on his forehead. Everyone claimed Prince was going crazy then too. But as you can see from the Super Bowl performance, he's fine.

Aww, real hair on Britney, those were the days.....

The Eames Dot Pattern

I decided to switch my backround. Again. What I really need to do is design a free-standing site, and transfer everything over. Soon enough...

The new backround is a famous design pattern by the Eames'. Click here to see Ray Eames with her original pattern.

Johnny Dang Is The Coolest Guy In The World

What the hell is this? Wow. I can't even say anything. Listen, if you read this blog regularly, then you know what I'm thinking. No sense in going through the motions.BET VJ Madd Links and jeweler Johnny Dang attend the Belvedere Ultra Lounge Day 4 At Club OPM in Las Vegas, Nevada.The force of the celebrity turnout at this event is making me weak.

(Damn I said something!)

Mischa Barton Uses A TJ Maxx Cart To Shop At Costco

That seemed like a pretty useless observation. I like how Mischa goes around town all by herself, walks her dog with strangers, and hangs out with shady people.

These pictures were shot on Valentine's day. The fact that Cisco's not with her might be a confirmation of their alleged breakup. I can't say for sure. But then again, if you let your girlfriend go to Costco by herself to buy cleaning supplies on Valentine's day, something tells me it's not going too well.


Oh, by the way Mischa, I like the way your shoes match your Bounty paper towels. Nice.

I also like how the guy behind her is reading an "Us Weekly" type publication standing right behind Mischa Barton. Hey dude, the REAL thing is right in front of you, jackass!

Paris Hilton Takes Her Own Picture

Paris Hilton sits next to her father Richard, left, as she takes her own photograph during Vienna's traditional Opera Ball, on Thursday, Feb. 15, 2007, at Vienna's State Opera.
I don't know why I like posting when celebrities take their own picture. There's something strange about it. I can quite put my finger on it, yet. I'm developing a theory. Will keep you posted.

Kirsten Dunst In Vanity Fair

Annie Leibovitz pays homage to Film Noir in March's Vanity Fair, and it looks amazing. Here are all the pages that Kirsten Dunst stars in.


Love her or hate her, Kirsten Dunst is a true Hollywood star. She's beautiful.

Britney Spears Shaves Head, Gets Tattooed

Check out the exclusive pics at x17online.com. They have VIDEO too!Apparently, Ms. Spears has finally gone off the deep end. I hope she is alright. Britney Spears is bald.

Pulling a Natalie Portman? Maybe it's for a film role? No. Not a chance. This was driven by pure CRAZY. She looks jaded.

I'm not going to make fun of her. I hope she finds peace.

The Faces Of Spring

Lilly Pulitzer announces the faces for the Spring 2007 Campaign: Society Favorites Amanda Hearst and Lauren Bush.

Amanda is our girl Lydia's cousin. And Lauren is the President's niece. They look great together in the catalogue. CHECK IT OUT.

Martha Stewart And Christy Turlington

Christy Turlington joins host Martha Stewart on the set, where she presented Stewart with a personalized (Product)RED t-shirt from the (Project)RED fundraising campaign, in New York.

Lily Cole Eats And Checks Her Phone

Model Lily Cole eats in front of a sign informing models of eating disorders before Basso & Brooke's Autumn/winter show at London Fashion Week in London.

Isn't it great that on UT when Lily Cole eats a banana while checking her phone, it's just as big a deal as anything else.This is important, dammit.Here is the B-eat website on the poster in front of her.

London Fashion Week: Behind The Scenes

Will I ever get over my obsession with Generic Models? I don't think so. They are what bring joy into the lives of us, ugly, fat people (myself included).

Here, a generic model is helped into her garment during Basso & Brooke's Autumn/winter show at London Fashion Week in London. The organisers for the event have refused to follow examples set by other European fashion shows by using models who are classified as a size zero.

Thank god!

Is Joss Stone Turning Slutty?

I seriously hope so. I like it. She's 19 now, so she doesn't have to be little miss perfect anymore. I was sort of surprised to see her at fashion week in New York, acting a bit strange.

Never thought of her as "sexy" but in these pictures on the red carpet at the BRIT Music Awards at London's Earl's Court today, I get the feeling she's tryig to change that.

Wearing a short dress. Vivacious. Free-spirited. Flirtatious. Alive!



She probably just thought since Paris and Britney are getting old, she needs to crank up the hotness factor. Besides, she's actually got talent!

I'll be watching out for more Joss!

Did Google Forget The "L" On It's Logo?

Quick go to Google right now. Look at their Valentine's day logo. I don't see an "L."

And don't try to tell me that the stem of the strawberry is the "l" because thats a cop-out, and you're WRONG.

Google fucked up.

Hey, guys, hire me, I'll be in charge of your holiday logo division, and you can pay me 650k a year for that.

At least I'll remember how to spell the name.

Gallagher Is Coming!

Gallagher has always been one of my favorite comedians. You remember those gnarly Showtime specials in the early 80's where he'd smash watermelons all over the audience? That was awesome! Well, he's still at it, and he's coming down to town near you!

I actually liked his social commentary and his wild ideas more than the watemelon smashing. He was kinda forgotten in the 90's though, but then came back during the Recall election in California (I think he came the closest to Gray Davis out of all the celebrity candidate votes).

Comedy Central named him #100 out of the 100 Top Comedians of all Time. What a gyp! He should be up there with Robin Williams and George Carlin, if you ask me!

Check out his site to listen to his new stuff. And go get TICKETS!

The man is an American institution! Dammit!

Sharon Stone Kisses Richard Gere

She threw herself across the piano for him!


She also took off her shoes.....

...and danced with Bob Geldof.

Okay, she's drunk, so what? I hate how today's media makes a big deal about every stupid little thing. She's Sharon Stone! She's not the President. Let her drink, and raise money for good causes while doing it.

People need to relax. It's like we can't have a good time anymore, on the off chance that we might offend someone. Screw that.

...at the same event in the previous post.

Sharon Stone Is Awesome

I don't get what the big deal is with this video. Sharon Stone is hilarious in it.

U.S. actress Sharon Stone conducts an auction during the 'Cinema for Peace' charity gala in Berlin Monday, Feb. 12, 2007. The gala, which takes place for the sixth time, will benefit children in Dafur and Tibetian refugees.

Mischa Barton Likes Hanging Out In Dark Alleys With Seedy Little Guys

It seems the Cisco Adler breakup thing was real. I'll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, here is our girl Mischa Barton sneaking out of a Grammy party through the back way.

Where does she get these little weirdo friends? This guy looks grimy and seedy. Does anyone know who he is? I'm outta the loop.

(For all I know, he's the drummer for some stupid band, like Fall Out Boy.)

She's wearing like a eight thousand dollar Valentino gown, yet she's in some dirty back alley hanging out with Cheech & Chong.

You gotta love her, though.

Where's Bogart When You Need Him?

The Maltese Falcon statue at John's Grill sits on the bar near an unidentified patron at John's Grill , in San Francisco, in a file photo taken March 29, 2005. The Maltese Falcon statue, a coveted replica of the originals used in the making of the movie, "The Maltese Falcon," was swiped over the weekend. John Konstin, the restaurant's owner, said a thief jimmied the display case late Saturday, Feb. 10, or early Sunday, Feb. 11, 2007, and purloined the plaster bird.

Porno Actresses In Mexico!

Now that's refreshing, isn't it? Actually the amount of sluttyness in these pictures is almost too much. What SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS! They need to tone it down a little.
A group of international porn star actresses and a Mexican porno actors pose for photographers during a press conference announcing the 2007 Sex and Entertainment Expo in Mexico City.

K-Y Intrigue Jelly

In this photo provided by K-Y Intrigue, Billy Baldwin, left, and Alan Cumming pose with a sample of K-Y Intrigue at an art gallery featuring "Intrigue: The Art of Sensuality" a mixed-media installation including paintings, photography and sculpture by contemporary artists, exploring the image and role of sensuality in modern culture in New York City.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be standing next to Alan Cumming holding a packet of K-Y. I think that why Billy is making that face, he's like, "Yeah, what the hell..."

The Grammy's Sucked...

Ok, this was the big reunion of The Police, and they only sang "Roxanne?" That's it? I love Sting, but this was kinda lame. And why did 2 legendary singers, (Smokey Robinson and Lionel Richie) set up their performances to pass the torch to Chris Brown?The only good thing about the show last night was the Eagles tribute by Carrie Underwood (she's kinda sexy) and that gay looking dude from Rascal Flatts. Oh, and of course, Justin Timberlake. JT being the reason why anyone even watched this thing last night.I wanted him to win the Album of the Year so bad, because you know he was planning to make out with Scarlett Johanson (one of the presenters) if he won. Wouldn't that have been exciting!? He wins, and makes their relationship official. Perfect! Kill 2 birds with 1 stone, I say.Another thing really bugs me about the Grammys, and that is.....

WHO THE HELL IN AMERICA LISTENS TO THE FRICKIN' DIXIE CHICKS?!I swear, maybe it's just me, but this country chick band blows, really hard.

I Just Can't Get Enough Of Lily Cole

I'm glad there are spring shows in Europe this week. Because New York was a disaster for skinny models last week.

I've already starting saving some good ones.


Here is Lily Cole.

The Prada Phone

Watch out, Apple. South Korean electronics giant LG Electronics and Italian fashion brand Prada put on show the new LG Prada mobile phone at the 3GSM World Congress today in Barcelona. Leading companies in telecommunications, Internet and entertainment gathered in Barcelona on Monday for the start of one of the world's biggest trade shows for the mobile phone industry.

Geez, the thing looks EXACTLY like the iPhone. Biters.

Hilary Duff Takes Her Own Picture

Just a little off, Hilary, just a little off. Hilary Duff, left, poses with a fan at the Child magazine's fall 2007 show, Friday, Feb. 9, 2007, during Fashion Week in New York. Hilary Duff's children's clothing line "Stuff by Hilary Duff" was featured in the show.

Mariah Carey's Legs

I never thought Mariah Carey's legs were all that great. Gillette should have found another spokesmodel. Maybe one who's thighs aren't fat.Sixteen-foot replica of Mariah Carey's famous legs to be auctioned on eBay, proceeds to benefit the Fresh Air Fund.

Kevin Federline And Justin Timberlake Share An Awkward Moment

Justin Timberlake, right, greets Kevin Federline as they arrive at the JT-TV launch party in Los Angeles on Feb. 9, 2007.

Well, the awkward moment was mainly on JT, not for Kevin. Kevin was probably star struck.

Karl Lagerfeld Likes Taking His Own Picture

German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld takes his own picture during a photocall for the film "Lagerfeld Confidential" at the 57th Film Festival "Berlinale" in Berlin, Germany, on Saturday.

Fashion designers are all cuckoo.



UPDATE: Alright smart asses, I posted the wrong picutre. He's pointing the camera at himself in some of them.

Eva Green Is Here To Stay

French actress Eva Green holds the Orange Rising Star Award at the British Academy Awards (BAFTA) at the Royal Opera House, London, yesterday.

Thank God. I love this woman. So classy. SO beautiful. I can't wait to see her in future movies.

Anna Nicole Smith Dead

Wow. A surprising turn of events. I hate doing Obits. Especially when they are uncalled for. It must have been hell dealing with the loss of her son, and all the media speculation on her.

I send out my condolences to her family, and whoever loved her, cared for her.

Sad news.

STORY HERE.

Lydia Hearst Is Smart

I've been running this stupid blog for a little over a year. I didn't (and still don't) take it seriously. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in on this whole "Paris Hilton type" of media culture currently dominating the web, and ran with it. Ultimately I found out, I hated it and was going to avoid most of it. Leaving me to seek out my own "useless" alternatives.

One of those alternatives was Lydia Hearst, our favorite socialite.

I didn't know much about her, just that she was super-hot (which is enough for UT). Today, she gave an exclusive interview with LX.TV. Not only is she hot, she's smart! Check it out!!!!!!!!!!



Wow. Did you see that?

In the 5-plus years of Paris-Hilton-blog-dom, I have never seen Paris give such a well spoken, literate, intelligent interview as this one you've just seen from Lydia. UT's interest in Lydia Hearst was very superficial at first, but since then, we have seen that she is no "Paris Hilton."

Today, when Newsweek has Paris Hilton on their cover with some "doom and gloom" article about America's youth, I sit here, and look at this.

Maybe America is paying attention to the wrong role models.


UPDATE:

Here is the site for Designers for Darfur.

Mischa Is Pissed At Cisco

I saw this one coming. Just because I can tell Mischa is a nice girl, and more conservative than anyone might think she is for a 21 year old super-hot actress.

She's apperantly stark raving mad with her boyfriend Cisco Adler for his naked picture being amidst Paris Hilton's various party-girl posessions uncovered weeks ago.

Wow. I can't believe I'm actually going to try to defend this guy. I used to HATE him. Even though I still hold an irrational, unhealthy obsession with Mischa Barton, all bullshit aside, she should forgive him for this one. My letter to Mischa Barton:

Dear Mischa,
My reasons for you NOT to breakup up with Cisco Adler:
1. That picture was taken a long time ago. Before you were together.
2. He's not that guy in the picture anymore. Since being with you, he seems like a different person. And he shouldn't be punished for the past.
3. You should be proud that your influence has changed his old ways. And not encouraged them, like, well, Paris Hilton.

Oh, and for the readers, here's the penis picture she's mad about:

Caroline Trentini In Fashion Week

Can't get enough of this girl. She's amazing. Caroline Trentini.

Anna Wintour (The Devil) At Michael Kors

Well, I won't be working for Conde Nast anytime soon. So what the hell, right? Let's post the most unattractive photo possible of the most powerful woman in fashion herself, Anna Wintour. Yes, the basis for The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestley, played wonderfully by Meryl Streep this past year.

Here she is at Michael Kors' show during fashion week in New York.


Ironically, her daughter, Bee Shaffer, kind of looks like Anne Hathaway. She's extremely pretty, and she doesn't seem to be all that into this fashion stuff by the way she's posing in these pictures.

More Lydia Hearst...

I'm kind of disappointed with the flow of model pictures coming in from New York's fashion week. I'm trying to compose a Skinny Model Post and it's not working out as well as last week's fashion week in Brazil. Too much meat on these girls in New York! What happened to starvation, girls? Did you models eat too much during the holidays?

But, I do have more Lydia Hearst! Here she is during the Heatherette show today.



Ms. Hearst is pimping out "The Lydia PUMA bag," made especially for the heiress by Heatherette.

Who IS This Dude?!

Mischa Barton took her dog out for a walk the other day and as always, she was photographed. In the series of pictures we see her sitting on a bench chatting away with this dude, I can't even describe him. He's like a regular little guy just hanging back, walking his dog too, ya know?

I just, I just.... NEED to know who this random dude is! I don't know, I guess it's like Double Viking's funny post, the open letter to the kid in the backround of the Jessica Alba bikini photos. I almost can't except this. It's so unfair! LOL.



If he's not her friend, or her bodygaurd (doubtful), then who the hell is this guy?! I can't believe I'm INSANELY jealous of someone just cause they randomly had a casual conversation with Mischa Barton! About their dogs, I bet!

Oh well, the sun shines on a dog's ass sometimes. Nothing against the guy, either. Lucky bastard that he is. It's fine, I guess.

Because you know if I ever meet up with Mischa Barton she would freak out and start yelling, "Eeww! You're that guy who decapitated me! Eeew! Eeeeeeeew!" and then run off in a panic for help.

Joss Stone Deliberately Breaks The Rules

Ha. Ha. Joss.

I like her better as a blonde.

Wheel Of Fortune Is Ancient

Vanna White and Pat Sajak, co-hosts of the television show "Wheel of Fortune," greet the audience on the set in North Charleston, S.C., on Jan. 12, 2007. It wasthe first time the show, now in its 24th season and seen in syndication by an estimated 46 million fans each week, has taped in South Carolina. White is a South Carolina native.

Hey, is it me, or have these people not aged? Are they anamatronics, or something? Vanna White looks a bit older, but the same. And Pat Sajak is pretty much the same as when is was, hmmm, I guess i must have been FOUR years old! Damn!

Girls, Lydia Wants You To Eat

Lydia Hearst really wants you skinny models to eat. Really.
She's got it written right on her T-shirt! Our favorite socialite here at UT wore this "Eat or Die" t-shirt before the start of the Atil Kutoglu Fall 2007 show in Byant Park on Saturday.

And here is the green-eyed goddess wearing a beautiful green dress the next day at the Tadashi Fall 2007 fashion show.

Paris Hilton Newsweek Cover (with Britney Spears)

I almost forgot to post this. Here is the cover everyone will be talking about. The "Girls Gone Wild" Newsweek cover. It seems like an old picture of Paris with Britney, maybe even taken before the Britney vagina episode.Newsweek has been wanting to put Paris Hilton on their cover for years, they just haven't had the right opportunity. And now, since all of her junk has been uncovered recently, it seems like a good time to do the whole "are your kids safe from the evils of Paris Hilton?" story.

Super Fans: Welcome To Miami, Boys

Ah Ha! So you thought Miami was all about the sunny beaches, and dudes wearing pastel coats over pink t-shirts, huh? Think again Super Bowl fans!


It rains here, guys. Yeah, heavy rains. All the time, too. ALL THE TIME.

This really did become the Useless Bowl. Seriously, have you ever seen so many slips and fumbles in an NFL game?

They should just cancel the game and set a a giant Slip 'N Slide contest. Whoever slides the furthest wins, boys!

Prince Super Bowl Performance

Welcome to Miami!

Look at how BAD it was raining all night! These pictures are of Prince during the halftime show. The only appropriate time for the rain was actually when he started singing "Purple Rain." Other than that, you can tell it was bothering people, and bothering Prince too.

Johnny Knoxville Sneaks In Johnny Walker

Johnny Knoxville arrives at the Playboy Super Bowl XLI party Saturday last night in Miami.

You can't fool us at Useless Things, Johnny. We see ya, Johnny. Sneaking in with that bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. Looks like it's all gone too.
I wonder if he got it on with Alyssa Milano? Probably.

You know, Johnny Knoxville holds a special place in this blog. He was actually our first real post.

Ashton And Demi At The Useless Bowl

I kinda like the sound of that. Useless Bowl. Did you know that on some radio stations down here in South Florida the DJ's are BANNED from saying the words "Super Bowl?" Well they are. I can't remember what companies are banned. But a bunch of Clear Channel employees are calling it "The Big Game" or the "Final Game." What a joke.

Here are Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore posing for the thousands of cameras in Dolphin Stadium.

Huge corporate events like this scare me a bit. It's as if America is just this this huge media "traveling circus" that just so happened to be in my town for a weekend. And all of our favorites little celebs are here, just acting out their roles.

Tara Reid falls down like a drunk. And Ashton and Demi show off how "normal" and how in love they are.

You can almost make this stuff up. All we need now is Paris Hilton crashing a car in South Beach. George Clooney holding a "serious" press conference about starving families in Hialeah. Will Smith taking his kids to Metro-Zoo. Brad and Angelina adopting a homeless Mexican kid from Homestead. And maybe Hulk Hogan pimping out his daughter. Wait, that one is real.

Oh hey look, Bruce and the fam are there too:

Tara Reid Falls Down On The Red Carpet

Okay, so Tara Reid made sure we knew she was in Miami Beach this weekend by falling down off the red carpet and covering herself (and others trying to help) in sand.


What a mess. A catastrophe. The Super Dolt.

LL Cool J Still Rocks

So, it's finally the day of the Useless Bowl. The only Super Bowl party I went to was the ESPN The Magazine's Next Big Block Party on Friday where LL Cool J gave a suprisingly great performance on a huge stage setup on the Design District.

The guy was great! He sang ALL of his major hits, which when you think about it, are plentiful. All the way back to his "Radio" album, to his latest hits with JLo (no she didn't show) and then even gave the crowd "Mama Said Knock You Out" near the end of his set.

Props to LL Cool J. He gave us a great night in the trendy Design District, away from the played out South Beach crowd, where the most exciting thing that happened was Tara Reid falling down on the red carpet.

Mischa Barton Can Play Tennis With One Leg

I'm bored. I'm bored, and there are no pictures I like up. You know what that means? Yep, it's Mischa Barton amputation time!It seems it would be difficult to play tennis with only one leg, but as you can see here, for Mischa Barton, it's really no problem at all. That's just how courageous and wonderful she is.

Honestly, this isn't a slam, it's just a running joke. I think Mischa Barton is a classy dame. And Keds are really cute shoes. Don't sue me.

Jeisa Chiminazzo Polaroids

Jeisa looks so amazing. It's funny how models look great in these simple little polaroids.My last Jeisa post was during the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. SHE was the star of that show, in my opinion.


Check out more pictures of Jeisa from the agency site, and jeisa-chiminazzo.com.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Is A Threat To National Security

Sean Stevens, 28, and Peter Berdovsky, 27, are escorted to the Charlestown District Court today in Charlestown, Massachusetts. The two artists were arrested last night following a publicity stunt gone awry. Boston temporarily closed parts of bridges, subway stations, an Interstate highway and part of the Charles River on January 31, after the authorities found what the police described as suspicious devices at nine places. But the devices, which included circuit boards, turned out to be part of a marketing campaign by Turner Broadcasting to advertise a cartoon television show, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."


When questioned by the media, the two went on and on about hairstyles from the 60's and 70's:

Prince Looks Retarded In Three Different Pictures

Like I said in the last post, I'm over the Superbowl...

Maria Menounos Doesn't Throw Like A Girl

or

ATTACK OF THE SCARY ARMPIT!

TV host Maria Menounos throws the football before start of the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl football game in the South Beach area of Miami Beach today.

The armpit is one of those things that even hot women need to be careful of showing. They just don't look good in pictures! Especially when throwing an Official-sized NFL football.

I personally wish this whole Superbowl thing would just fucking end already. Like my boy Adam Rapaport said on the GQ podcast last week, "Basically it's bachelor party for 80,000 people."

I'm over it already.